Just ate a delicious Pastrami Sandwich from Togo's... So Full!

#Target watches your purchases so closely that it can accurately predict when your pregnant and due dates. Creepy bastards!

#SamuelLJackson voted for Obama cause they're both black. I'm a little harder to buy... Maybe an Ipad for a vote?

Looking forward to lunch right now... What to get? What to choose?

$1,000 fine for anyone who throw a football or a Frisbee on any beach in LA. Whats next? Fines for having fun without a permit!

New Trailer for Spiderman looks awesome. Hope they do a better job!

Other box says, " This Cereal Cray, Special K, better than a fish filet!" Special K, ruining slang terms one at a time.

Need I say more?

A woman was stun gunned for blocking the driv-thru @ #McDonalds for 20 minutes. I get angry when they forget to give me ketchup too!

#Tombrady is in hot water after bad mouthing #Buffalo. All I heard was "Mouth Watering Buffalo!" Now I'm in the mood for chicken wings!

I wanna try out for American Idol and be really "Awful" just so they put me on tv and I can give J.Lo a hug! Do they still call her J.Lo?

In need of a daily dose of Starbucks and patience... To bad they can't serve that up half caf!

A graffiti artist who painted Facebook's first offices has stocks worth about $200 million... I can paint by numbers! Anyone interested?

Feeling better & don't have the swine flu

Breakin the Bank one swipe at a time!