So what? So let’s dance! 🤯

“I got no sex life. I’m getting old. Old, old. Are you kidding? When I say it’s down 40 degrees, I’m not talking about the weather here.”

“I tell ya, in my neighborhood everybody’s tough. Even the people in business, they think tough. There’s a bank on my block. In this bank, if you open a savings account they give you a free carving knife and point out two victims.”

“I tell ya, when someone thinks they’re too good for someone else, they should do what I do. I just take a good look at myself in the mirror in my shorts. I don’t think I’m good enough for anyone.”

“Dr. Vinnie Boombatz. He wrote that best selling book, How To Sleep Alone and Enjoy It.”

“I’m getting old, old. When I bend down to tie my shoes, I try to think of other things to do while I’m down there.”

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“I tell ya, I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, ‘There goes the neighborhood!’” Rodney Dangerfield (Nov 22, 1921 – Oct 5, 2004)

𝗬𝗢𝗨’𝗥𝗘 𝗔 𝗖𝗨𝗟𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗔𝗟 𝗜𝗖𝗢𝗡. 𝗗𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗙𝗘𝗘𝗟 𝗔𝗦 𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨'𝗩𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗚𝗢𝗧 𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧? Maybe other people feel that way. I don’t picture myself as anything. I could never be a big shot. When I go into a hotel and a bellhop grabs my bag, I feel like I should be carrying it. I’m just one of the masses. I know that people like me, but I don’t lay it on so much. (📷: Max S Gerver for Time Magazine, 2004)

“What a doctor, are you kidding? I told him I keep wetting my pants. He told me to open my fly.”

“This meeting of Losers Anonymous will now come to order.”

“I live in a tough neighborhood. When I plan my budget, I allow for holdup money.”

“My dog, he started trouble again. He went over to the front door, he started to bark. I went over, I opened the front door. The dog didn’t want to go out, he wanted me to leave.”

“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample, it had an olive in it.”

“I tell ya, you talk to people today you don’t know what to expect. You don’t know who to believe. Girls say things like, ‘It’s all right if a man is older than a woman, age makes no difference. Looks is not important. Money means nothing.’ That’s what they say, but I never met a girl yet who fell in love with an old, ugly man who’s broke.”

“It was my boy’s birthday last week. Had a little party, brought out the cake, the kid blew out all the candles. I said to him, ‘I hope your wish comes true.’ He said, ‘If it does, that’s the last time you’ll watch me blow out candles.’” #TheInkofNoRespect (Tattoo by Matthew Jackson)

“My wife, what a lousy cook. I don’t think meatloaf should glow in the dark.”

“But right now, let’s take a funny look at The Depression.”

“Are you kidding? I know my wife cheats on me. Every time I come home, the parrot says, ‘Quick, out the window!’” #TheArtofNoRespect (Artwork by Taylor Shepherd Bos)

“My neighborhood, there’s nothing but killings over there. I went out, I bought a water bed. There was a guy at the bottom of it.”

“People say to me, ‘How did you get a name like Rodney Dangerfield?’ I’ll tell you what happened.”