Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and his over farming destroys an ecosystem.
Lima, Peru
Joined August 2008
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My Dry Bar comedy special just came out! Watch Dry Bar for free (1 month) w/ promo code ROBOREILLY
drybarcomedy.com/robo/videos…
People are worried about transgendered people playing sports.
But no one‘s talking about how in the 90s, they were letting dogs play football.
Naps have been rebranded as “meditation” and are making a big comeback
#meditation #deepthoughts
A toddler learning to climb chairs to reach items is like when a raptor learns how to open a door. Impressive yet terrifying. #DadThoughts
The Nerdiest Audience To Ever Go To A Comedy Show. Rob O'Reilly youtu.be/quWaafF9og0?si=hndR… via @YouTube
Is it weird I always say please and thank you w/ ChatGPT?
I hope one day when AI is killing most of humanity, it remembers how nice I was. #SpareMeAI
Aaron Rodgers’s Achilles heel is his Achilles heel. @AaronRodgers12 #AaronRodgers #AaronRodgers12 #NFL
"In your 20s, you care what people think about you. In your 40s, you don't really care. Then when you're 60, you realize nobody ever thought about you in the first place" - Paul Orfalea
Golf exists bc grown men can't just say "Let's walk around a pretty park for 3 hours talking"
#Golf #golfing #golfjokes
Please watch this trailer with Sound On! Only one week until the show I wrote & directed debuts. #3monthfiance instagram.com/p/CMAYUJTACOa/…
#LIVE: Thank You For Joking Podcast. 🎥 Subscribe at Happs: happs.tv/post/stSC3yFWWnmTZi…
Had a bartender with a shriveled lil baby arm. But the universe is balanced, so somewhere there's prob a lil baby w/ a giant arm. And man can that baby pour a drink.
#deepthoughts