Check out this photo my cousin Alfonz took! Don't I look great?! If you or a rodent you know needs your picture taken, look up his new business: Alfonz' PortRAT Studio.

I love when my family comes out to visit. We see all the sights, including my favorite: the "Dumpsters of the Rich and Famous" tour!

My mother taught me to always say yes to anything extra. Extra guac, extra ranch, extra cheese... as long as it doesn't cost extra, it's a yes!

I really think that melted cheese might be the answer to all of life's problems. I can't think of one time my day wasn't immediately improved after eatin' some! Remember: Always fondue, never fondon't.

Is there any food better than soup? It's warm, it's delicious, and it's one of the few foods you can make in a bathtub – my ideal serving size!!

I know it can seem pretty appealing to use an extra large pizza as a blanket. Lemme tell ya – it ain't worth it! Sure, it's pipin' hot to start, but if your appetite's anything like mine that blanket won't be makin' it through the night.

Can you believe it's already September? Before we know it everything will be pumpkin flavored – just the way I like it!!

The best things in life are free... Like free bread, free chips and salsa, free peanuts – what could be better?!

Sure, everybody loves brunch, but nobody ever wants to hear my pitch for the ultimate meal: "Brunchner"! It combines all three meals at once, and you have it at least three times a day – I'm already doin' it, and you can too!

I'm so glad it's summer time! Finally it's hot enough outside that I can leave a bucket of cheese outside when I leave in the morning and have a bucket of fondue ready by the time I get home!

Y'know that couch that's sitting in your garage, slowly falling apart? Don't just toss it on the street – donate it to your favorite rodent! Remember: one man's trash is another rat's treasure!

They say ya can't go home again... For a rat like me, that's especially true – the dumpster I grew up in rolled into a river a few years back. I left some great old pizza boxes down there!

In my book, one of the best food pairings is fruit and cheese. The only pairing that beats it? Cheese and cheese.

If I had to pick my favorite kind of food, it'd have to be finger food. When you eat as much and as fast as I do, silverware just gets in the way.

Never talk to a rat before they've eaten. We rats don't just get hangry, we get houtraged, hurious, and hindignant!

How many rats does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, it depends... is the lightbulb in the fridge? If so, it'll be screwed in as soon as we finish eatin'.

I just got home from brunch, my favorite meal of the day... at least until it's finally linner time. And don't even get me started on dupper!

Here's a little life hack for ya: You don't have to even watch the Big Game this weekend to enjoy Big Game snacks! It's true! You can chip and dip to your heart's content without seeing a single touchdown.

I like fancy food as much as the next rat, but I'll never make it for myself. My rule is: If a meal takes you longer to make than it does to eat, it ain't worth it.

Sometimes if I'm feelin' too lazy to make dinner, I'll just eat the ingredients on their own. It works fine for somethin' like a sub sandwich, but it's not fun eating crunchy noodles instead of makin' spaghetti!