Things make me nervous.

Minneapolis
Joined July 2009
See you at Show X tonight? 8pm live at HUGE for those with a mask and proof of vax. Only $10. Cheaper than lobster. 🦞
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A reminder that the people who breached security today at the Capitol find what @Kaepernick7 did to be offensive.
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Systemic racism is these people who are LITERALLY storming the capitol to overthrow the will of democracy being called protestors, but a group of people calling for an end to police brutality are called rioters.
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Maybe congress should have invited school children to teach them what to do in the case of an active shooter.
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Thanks, buds!! ❤️❤️ #HUGEleap
Our favorite improv comedy around, @HUGETheater, is buying a new building! They need space for classrooms, diversity initiatives, and rehearsals. It will be an artist-owned building in an area that is being eaten up by commercial development. Give here: hugetheater.com/donate/hugem…
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Am I a bad parent if I never ever tell her it’s cottage cheese and not “college cheese”?
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IT'S TRUUUUUE
We have a SHOW TONIGHT at @StrikeTheater!!! 7:30pm. $10. TELL THE WORLD.
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Is popcorn a good bath snack? Follow up: Are bath snacks a thing?
In other news, please come see my new band Actual Eggs.
Still unreasonably mad the Target checkout person told me where to put my eggs. #ActualEggs #NotAReproductiveIssue
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Please let it be known that I pulled a muscle pretending to be a whiteboard for too long in a set last night. #veryyoungandphysicallyfit
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My kid is drawing on a chalkboard and her nails are too long and I'm TRYING NOT TO LOSE MY FREAKING MIND. Is it ok to just leave the house?
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Who ARE these jokers? Find out 10/12 when @ErikStolhanske gives us a sneak preview of his latest MN-made comedy! mnfilmtv.org/news/ xitter.cf/ErikStolhanske/status/…
. @mnfilmtv is showing Beerfest at @summitbeer Thurs. AND be the first to see @ErikStolhanske's project created w/Minnesota actors & crew
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My kid just asked if I could invite Obama over for Favorite Friday dinner. Does anyone know how to get a hold of him on such short notice?
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Friends, should I be worried about what's happening at work today?...
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Well, it's a week later and I'm STILL mad about a guy mansplaining to me a phonetic spelling THAT I WROTE FOR MYSELF. #klaze#clays
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Is avocado on top of a steak quesadilla still considered avocado toast? Just wanna make sure I'm still healthy & cool.
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Unable to pull apart my day-old baguette on my own. Rethinking a gym membership.
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I am so good at normal, non-grotesque characters and relatable storytelling don't be jealous xitter.cf/notmuchfuntoday/status…
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