A man walks into a bar carrying a spear, and is arrested shortly after for spiking drinks.
#LunchPun
My friend insists on playing his small woodwind instrument when we go mountaineering.
High fluting.
Yes very pompous.
#LunchPun
Richard Stone retweeted
A Peruvian baker dropped a meat & onion pastry based product on his foot.
He's now on Inca Pastie benefit.
There's always a surge in demand down at the constipation clinic on budget day.
#LunchPun
On my computer I tried to look up traditional methods of breaking out of prison, but it came back file not found.
#LunchPun
The local vicar and fishing enthusiast has been using the village church to temporarily store their catch - authorities have been turning a blind eye to this but the bishop now says they need to address the eely font in the room.
#LunchPun
Richard Stone retweeted
That's probably because last week I took them Brown wholemeal bread instead of white sliced.
Our music keeps getting pirated - I know this like the hack of my band.
#LunchPun
My sister trained to become a builder - she told me her first attempt at applying a protective coat to a house was her renders.
#LunchPun
I got a job as a shepherd and the farmer asked me to round up his flock of about 280 sheep - so I said, what to the nearest 100?















