Premature Ejaculation Englishman joke: It’s Cum Home

Comedy Genius #Ithankyou #ITASPA

Spain have equalised! Think Italy are Pessina gainst the wind #BOOM

FINALLY Pessina HAS COME ON FOR ITALY! Now, I might get a chance to use my ‘He’s Pessina gainst the wind’ gag! 🤞🏻

I won’t be too bothered if England get knocked out on Wednesday because, what I’m going to do is I’m going to paint a St George Cross on my 5 year old sons face, make him cry, video it and I’ll get thirty odd grand! Sweet!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Football is having its last drink before bed. Tomorrow, football has to get up early to finish packing it’s suitcase. Football is making last minute checks that it has everything. Because football is coming home! Xxx

Nerves are kicking in. I’ve already knitted one, pearled one, dropped one and curled one!

MAN WEARING A BRA WINS THE GAME!!!! #UKR

I really don’t mind who wins this penalty shoot out as long as it’s not France.

I once bought a Swiss watch from Blackpool for a fiver. It went backwards. I bet the Swiss wish all their watches could do the same right now.

It’s Coming Home…

Just banged my toe on the chair. Now, I’m going to shag my ankle on the sofa.

If they wanted to speed things up, why didn’t they give people the second jab first? Come on. It’s not rocket science.

To all the England ‘supporters’ who were slating England and praising Scotland the other night, take a look at the Group Table. (Not a dig at The Scots)

Those Czech supporters jumping up and down. My brother immediately said ‘Bouncing Czechs’ 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

When some of these players step onto the pitch, why do they pick up a piece of grass and kiss it? If every player did it, by the final there’d be no grass left to play on! Stupid and selfish 😡

France v Germany. One of those games where you wish both teams could lose.

Do groups of lads have a contest that I’m unaware of in which they see which ‘pack’ can sing ‘Football’s Coming Home’ the loudest and most out of tune? IT’s cOminG hOMe, iT’S COmiNg HomE, It’S CoMIn’… FOotBaaW’s cOmINg hOmE!

Me when McDonald’s touch screen asks if I want to make a donation.

Heritage High School : Make Heritage High School Clowne change how they treat the students - Sign the Petition! chng.it/RDdTpTn6 via @UKChange