@RestlessN8iv

Comedian, fat guy, award-winning humor columnist, Time's '06 person of the Year. Following is not an endorsement

 Ovayondur
Joined August 2011
  • Tweets3.6K
  • Following234
  • Followers124
221Media
Me on Twitter: "Can I make a joke out of this?" *scroll* "Can I make a joke out of this?" *scroll* "Can I make a joke out of this?" *scroll*
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just woke up from a dream in which I played @ConanExiles with @ConanOBrien. Best dream ever. and @jonstewart was there too, idk why.
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I may not be verified, but I am certifiable!
Garth Brooks: "Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots" Audience: *cheers* Garth Brooks: "and ruined Eddie Murphey's couch" Audience: "???" Rick James: *takes off Garth Brooks mask*
Did anyone else think this photo of Prince from 1989 was @BrandonLOVESYOU ?
I must admit, I'm a little disappointed that @TheRogueRocket hasn't covered the actual rogue rocket plummeting to Earth right now.
A good joke makes me laugh. a great joke makes me jealous. I just heard @fluffyguy's bit on DC Comics, and I am insanely jealous!
Episode 165 "Micro Aggressions" G: @DrownedOutSC H: @neverbenfunny @RestlessN8iv SOTW : @DrownedOutSC @curtaincallgrp #podcast #PodernFamily #comedy #offensive  #nsfw #spotify #pandora #itunes #wyoming #band #rock open.spotify.com/episode/3b2…
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happy birthday to @JimCarrey @jamesearljones and @BettyMWhite!!
Turn signal?
Elon Musk
@elonmusk7 Jan 2021
Use Signal
Trump was talking to rioters like:
I hate how accurate this likely is.
Mr. Onederful®@ericonederful19 May 2020
The rest of the world is watching America like America watched Tiger King.
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did...did things calm down yet?
Rando@RestlessN8iv13 Feb 2020
Me: "I wonder what Twitter is doing" My brain: "Don't!" Me: "What it's just Twitte- oh. Ohh!" Brain: "I tried to warn you, it's an election year." See you in 2021 everyone
When you make an awkward anime reference during a podcast and your virginity grows back
NeverBenFunny 🍥@STMPod18 Dec 2020
Live at 8 pm central on come hang. With @SonicOctaneBand @NeverBenFunny @RestlessN8iv YouTube bit.ly/2TijqBL
Now that we've had Black Friday, Shop Local Saturday, Cyber Monday, and Giving Tuesday, it's Where-Did-All-My-Money-Go-Wednesday
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How many times do I have to be right before people start believing me?!
Rando@RestlessN8iv25 Jan 2020
The internet: "OMG every time the 20s roll around there's a plague!" Me: "Then either chalk it up to coincidence or get your ass to church. Either way, wash your hands."
Health care is the only service where you assume responsibility for a debt without knowing its amount
ProPublica
@propublica29 Nov 2020
Welcome to Coffeyville, Kansas, where the judge has no law degree, debt collectors get a cut of the bail, and Americans are watching their lives — and liberty — disappear in the pursuit of medical debt collection. propub.li/2KPOx7p

When Medical Debt Collectors Decide Who Gets Arrested

Welcome to Coffeyville, Kansas, where the judge has no law degree, debt collectors get a cut of the bail, and Americans are watching their lives — and liberty — disappear in the pursuit of medical...

features.propublica.org
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I miss that view.
Crystal Costa Bugary@CrystalCostaB28 Nov 2020
Good Saturday morning from #GardenCity Beach ❤️
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There was a time not too long ago when I would never have said these words, but Mitt Romney is right.
Mitt Romney
@MittRomney13 Oct 2020
My thoughts on the current state of our politics:
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You can't spell "Twitter" without "Twit. You can't spell "Twitch" without "Twit". You think the folks in Silicon Valley are trying to tell us something?
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