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Photos taken of @itsthedarcys live at @pappy_harriets this month! 📸 #photo #photography #event #live #concert #concertphotography

Oh okay

Hey @devbostick! How’d I do?

I haven’t heard anyone place dibs on it yet so I guess I’ll shoot my shot. I own Saturn.

Y'all ever think about how gum is a recreational food item?

Shoutout to @mulaney and Annamarie Tendler for not only showing up to a #BLM protest, but also doubling up on face masks.

I can’t believe Macklemore invented thrift shops

“Two bros, chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cuz they’re practicing proper social distancing.”

Y'all think I could facetime Dominos? I just wanna say hi. @dominos

Just sneezed. Feeling #blessed

Wynona Rider and Kanye West have the same weird energy. The only difference is that Kanye has learned to harness the power.

Spanish is just French with extra syllables and flourish.

It’s fascinating how, with an entire crew of professional sound mixers, lyric writers, track composers, and song editors, musicians still seem inclined to create songs dedicated to instructing the listener to simply move from left to right.

I hate the idea of ‘you are what you eat’. I can make my own decisions when it comes to nutrition, but I’m not gonna go around telling people I’m a lithium ion battery. That would just be stupid.

“A step in the wrong direction is the start of the cha-cha slide.” -Richard Nixon

The vibes of 2020 are starting out strong with Dr.Phil's house of horrors.

How do you expect me to take politics seriously when stuff like this exists? At least leave SOMETHING for the parody accounts!