Eat my pussy, please.

I believe in pussy.

RedTube will always be there for you.

Sex is the best exercise.

Too much sex? Sorry, never heard of it.

Chocolate, sex and laughter are all essential to a healthy brain.

If you kiss my neck you might as well just take all my clothes off too...

I like tits in my face.

Sex is a good cure for the common cold, and it also strengthens the immune system.

Fappy Sunday

Swallow them, quick! Before they become people.

If you don't remember their name in the morning take them to Starbucks.

More sex = less stress.

Open your legs and let love in.. and by love, I mean penis.

If men get a boner every morning then humanity has been doing an unending boner wave around the earth since forever.

I masturbate because I care.

Anal sex is no reason to get butt hurt.

Retweet if you watched porn today.

A penis is essentially a hydraulic sperm cannon made out of meat.