Funny Jokes

home is where you can look ugly & enjoy it

i’d dress nicer but i dont have the money or body

sometimes i feel useless but then i remember i breathe out carbon dioxide for plants

i'm actually really sweet until you annoy me

Everyone thinks i’m overdramatic when i’m upset, but when an octopus gets stressed out, it eats itself. now THATS overdramatic

i love it when people compliment my hair like thank you i grew it myself

I have this habit of not being able to control my facial expressions when someone says something stupid or annoying.

I dont even sleep anymore i just die for a couple hours each day

never give up on your dreams keep sleeping

I accept apologies in the form of cupcakes, cash or vodka.

I fake sleep when my family members come in my room so they don’t talk to me.

its hard to be attractive when ur not

Reason Why Men Live Shorter Lives Than Women ziboff.com/story/2988/reason…

Serial Killers. ziboff.com/story/2991/serial… #funny #zib #ziboff #himym #joke

Totally Nailed It. ziboff.com/story/2796/totall…

Anyone else? ziboff.com/story/2760/anyone…

Lesbian relationship. ziboff.com/story/2624/lesbia…

Life with dick is evil!! ziboff.com/story/29/life-wit…

Anyone else ? ziboff.com/story/2539/anyone…

A marketing wizard came up with this idea. ziboff.com/story/2419/a-mark…