Joshua Lister · Jan 19, 2016 · 5:01 PM UTC

15 degrees outside? Deploy all sweaters. @masnRoch

Joshua Lister · Dec 29, 2015 · 8:32 PM UTC

Hey @lootcrate how do you plan to make right all the purchases you promised by Christmas that are still in limbo?

Joshua Lister · Dec 27, 2015 · 4:29 PM UTC

200 shares and counting? Thanks for all the love guys #seoforhumans

Joshua Lister · Apr 2, 2015 · 12:52 AM UTC

Fuck you Slater #deadpoolRatedR

Joshua Lister · Mar 23, 2015 · 1:25 AM UTC

I just wanna see Rick go all Rick on somebody #keepwalking

Joshua Lister · Mar 20, 2015 · 2:42 PM UTC

There's a Rita's tent on market street. Employees standing in the snow look super sad. Happy spring you sons a bitches.

Patton Oswalt · Mar 12, 2015 · 5:02 PM UTC

Joshua Lister retweeted

The body that held Sam Simon's soul? Cancer. The mind that held Terry Pratchett's imagination? Alzheimer's. We get it, Universe. #fuck

645

Joshua Lister · Mar 9, 2015 · 2:50 AM UTC

Joshua Lister · Mar 9, 2015 · 2:13 AM UTC

When #porchdick goes south, it's all Chris Hardwick's fault

Joshua Lister · Mar 2, 2015 · 2:43 AM UTC

#cleancutrick is the new black

Joshua Lister · Feb 14, 2015 · 11:15 PM UTC

Healthcare.gov is texting me at crazy ex-girlfriend speed. I need to break up with the federal government.

Joshua Lister · Feb 9, 2015 · 4:20 PM UTC

Did you know piracy is a federal crime? Goodbye General E-Books #thieves #DMCA

Joshua Lister · Jan 30, 2015 · 2:57 AM UTC

I'm using a bag of baby carrots and two celery stalks to prop up my pizza #fixedit

Joshua Lister · Jan 21, 2015 · 8:35 PM UTC

I'm a wolf in sheep's skin, teeth can tear you limb from limb. I don't have the room to spare you.

Joshua Lister · Jan 20, 2015 · 8:53 PM UTC

Time to finish this damn book.

Joshua Lister · Jan 16, 2015 · 3:03 AM UTC

A $300/mo premium on top of a $2,000 deductible is NOT health insurance. Guess I'm paying the penalty again. #thanks

Joshua Lister · Jan 9, 2015 · 2:29 AM UTC

This guy.

Joshua Lister · Jan 8, 2015 · 4:41 PM UTC

Dear Flying Spaghetti Monster, please turn on the sun. Sincerely, the Philadelphia metro area.

Joshua Lister · Dec 31, 2014 · 5:13 PM UTC

What's another word for Siege? #workingtitle

Joshua Lister · Dec 11, 2014 · 10:30 PM UTC

Hey @alexnaderwrites email me about your #scavengerhunt giveaway!