I'm playing Blood of Dawnwalker as man bun vampire Geralt. I have 30 days to save my alcoholic mother. I have instead acquired a toddler vampire in my head, two dangerous women, and a farming dream I will never live. Recap Thread 🧵

Insomniac had a $300M budget and made a linear 12 hour hack and slash interactive movie. Wolverine defines modern AAA slop and waste. Dawnwalker had $40M and actually delivered a solid open world narrative. Stop pretending this is normal. It's not.

Thank you once again to all the cast members at WDW who make every visit special. We had an amazing day.

Congratulations to @RebelWolvesDevs and Dawnwalker hitting 1 million sales. Well deserved!

Hollywood Tower of Terror WDW under heavy construction. I hope it looks amazing when it's done.

Disney's Hollywood Studios ✨️

Surprise day at Disney's Hollywood Studios. My daughter doesn't know yet. I need to wake up... working on it.

Me loading Minecraft because I'm bored after not playing it in like 10 years...

$305M - Wolverine. $315M - Spiderman 2. One rebuilt New York. The other spent almost the same on a 12 hour linear claw simulator. Same $70 preorder. Congratulations, Insomniac. You made a very expensive cutscene.

The only real problem I have with Dawnwalker is that you can't keep playing after the credits roll and there's no NG+ (now confirmed). The time mechanic is a non-issue. It's unique to the genre, adds a real sense of urgency, and it's actually very forgiving.

Rebel Wolves doesn't need to remove the time limit in Dawnwalker. It’s unique. Unless you're wasting time on purpose, there's more than enough to finish most content in a single run. Leave the mechanic. Expand on it. Add a nemesis system. Innovate. Don't walk back unique ideas.

Xbox broke Game Pass. 50% hike. Lost millions of subs. Walked it back. Yanked day one CoD. And decided to use games as coupons. Fix what's broken and leave it alone. It was a value. That was the selling point. Game Pass is absolutely mismanaged. @asha_shar

Hi @RebelWolvesDevs I liked Dawnwalker. Even wrote a review on a Starter cap. Can we please have a barbershop? Female option? A beard? I understand the whole man bun vampire Geralt thing you have going but... Options would be nice. Thanks!

Finale. Dawnwalker man bun Geralt clocked out. Cave survived. Barber did not. Didn't need 30 days. Great RPG.

6. Man bun vampire Geralt wrap-up. The campaign is over. The bun survived. The barber did not. Very sad. Took Tinder vampire with me to kill Roman bald vampire. Fun date. We previously had glorious sexy time in cave. Mud. Fangs. Questionable dining. I bit her. She bit me. I miss her already... Peak Vale Sangora romance. She lived. I lived. The cave... I liked the cave. Fond memories. Then I did the unthinkable and went home. Fishing. Gathering a rabbit. The quiet life witch woman and I always planned. Cottage. Flowers. Potatoes. The toddler in my head called it frolicking. He is still not wrong. Alas. It was not meant to last. I now have four vampires in my skull and one crazy old woman vampire sprinting around abducting women like she is restocking a pantry. She's kinda like the cat lady who... nevermind. I should have put her in my head with the others. Apparently there is a Vampire Council and they are upset. Of course they are. I touched their stuff, drank their people, left flowers everywhere, and then had cave relations with one of their more... interesting employees. Put it all on my resume, I suppose. Just when I think I am out, they pull me back in. Classic. Fixed a door with dad. He's still mad. Drunk mother spoke to me sober. Sister is happy. The solution, as always, was money. Throw coin at the problem until it smiles. Medieval family therapy. A woman's lot. And when all was said and done? Witch woman, who I now refer to as Josie, is on a vacation far away. Tinder vampire has her own mission. She survived the Roman, survived the cave, and still walked. I am sad. Roman vampire in my head doesn't care. Then I remembered there are other vampire women out there and the meadows are still full of petals. The vampires in my head tell it's better this way. I tend to agree. The cave will always be special, however... Then Cyberpunk Geralt showed up and I started a new game. Same haircut option. Same inability to find a barbershop or a bath. Everyone still tells me I smell. Henry had baths. Coen has lore reasons, denial, and cave dirt in places dirt should not be. Wild ride. Never found the barber. Never found the baths. Did find a cave. Still eager to continue man bun Geralt’s adventures. We have so many more flowers to pick and Tinder vamps to seduce. The toddler in my head rated the fishing two stars, the rabbit mid, and the cave a reluctant four. Said the acoustics were decent. I smile and nod. Review of the adventure: 8.5/10. Solid RPG. Lands more like a spiritual successor to the original Witcher than Witcher 3 tourism. Dark Dragon Age Origins energy. Messy ambition. Rough edges. Real characters. Real problems. A clock that pretends to be a bomb and then lets you wander a field for three days collecting daisies before ducking into a cave with a woman who could (and actually did) kill an entire village. Not perfect. Didn’t need to be. The bun stays on. The Council can wait. Josie can vacation. Tinder vampire lives. I have rabbits to dress and another vampire woman who has not seen the hair yet. Audentes Fortuna Iuvat. Wrong game. Right bun. Questionable cave.

I'm really sick 8 hour interactive movies with QTEs. Linear. Boring. Overpriced. Give me a 100 hour RPG with loads to uncover and multiple choices and endings. More DAO less... whatever AAA modern slop we have now. Spot on 👇

South Park returns tonight and Stan breaking the 4th wall, looking directly at the camera, and saying "South Park sucks now" about sums it up. Prove us wrong @SouthPark

Downloaded Runescape Dragonwilds on Xbox. Saw "Body Type A and B" and uninstalled. Follow the science 👌

Finished Dawnwalker tonight. Not Witcher 3. The original Witcher vibes. Same messy ambition. Same rough edges. Same "this could be special if it doesn’t trip over itself" energy. Solid RPG. Real problems. Review coming.