Randy Allen · Nov 8, 2016 · 8:47 PM UTC

Whys everyone keep telling me its Erection Day? Isn't every day erection day? #confused

Randy Allen · Apr 29, 2016 · 6:03 PM UTC

Did the Baha Men ever figure out who let the dogs out?

Randy Allen · Mar 2, 2016 · 7:07 AM UTC

Used to call me shithouse

Randy Allen · Feb 8, 2016 · 10:17 PM UTC

How much money did Eli have on the panthers #Broncosmoneyline

Randy Allen · Jan 24, 2016 · 9:37 PM UTC

No dude should wear a turtle neck sweater. No dude

Randy Allen · Jan 14, 2016 · 9:19 PM UTC

I always chuckle when I hear someone frantically making a birds nest in a public b-room... #clenchthecheeks #muddscoming

Randy Allen · Dec 3, 2015 · 8:31 PM UTC

New Christmas cards coming out soon..

Randy Allen · Nov 19, 2015 · 6:25 PM UTC

I love to take all the condiments from chipotle to my table and not use them all.

Randy Allen · Oct 30, 2015 · 8:02 PM UTC

It's Friday

Funniest Vines · Oct 5, 2015 · 1:02 AM UTC

Randy Allen retweeted

This semester in a vine vine.co/v/exPi95FBlKL

175

4,749

Randy Allen · Sep 15, 2015 · 3:19 AM UTC

Am I watching a preseason game in this 9ers Vikings game

Randy Allen · Sep 14, 2015 · 2:07 PM UTC

Interesting looking rock... #littlemaninthecanoe

Randy Allen · Apr 23, 2015 · 4:20 PM UTC

Guns N' Roses Live Era '87-'93 album really gets the blood flowing to my genitals #musictocrashyourcarto

Randy Allen · Mar 27, 2015 · 7:03 PM UTC

Randy Allen · Mar 13, 2015 · 6:21 PM UTC

#fbf to Our maternity photos. Still cant believe Charleen shit that thing out after 14 months

Randy Allen · Feb 28, 2015 · 8:46 AM UTC

I hate people who back into parking spots #assbag

Randy Allen · Feb 19, 2015 · 7:55 PM UTC

Randy Allen · Feb 14, 2015 · 5:12 PM UTC

Spending my valentines day with Palmala Handerson and her five friends #theartofonehandtyping

Randy Allen · Feb 11, 2015 · 6:22 AM UTC

Randy Allen · Feb 10, 2015 · 6:39 PM UTC

Lard makes me hard