Baker. Writer. Pun enthusiast. I also support procrastinating, but that can wait.

Joined February 2009
Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
I LOVE the holidays and I’m grateful to @LogitechG for the chance to giveaway a PRO Series bundle!🎄 🗓️ Enter by 12/30 👉 gleam.io/8h7Yj/xchocobars-x-… 🎁 Get 10% off Logitech G gear logi.gg/xchocobars Wishing you a warm holiday season ❄️✨ #LogitechGPartner #TisTheSeasonToPlay
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
Turns out Musk's starlink satellites are raining out of orbit at a rate of 120 per month and each one produces 30 kilograms of aluminum oxide which eats away at the ozone layer and these oxides have increased 8 fold in the atmosphere since 2016👍
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
Rick Scott’s policies torture and kill the poor sick and vulnerable en masse but god FORBID someone be upset about that, that’s the real violence in a society that normalized and even glorifies state violence
Leftist streamer Hasan Piker appears banned from Twitch after saying, “If you cared about Medicare fraud, you would kill Rick Scott.”
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
The piece of shit scumbag who attacked cinna, valkyrae, emiru, emily and rosii is the same guy they took a photo with earlier and changed his clothes later. What a damn loser.
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
Bro the bear ate the snack more gently than my own dog 😭
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
I cannot tell you how much it infuriates me to see this unelected billionaire knowingly smear arguably our most important social program -- Social Security keeps two-thirds of our elderly out of poverty, able to eat, pay their bills, etc -- to an audience of millions. Unchecked.
BREAKING: Elon Musk called Social Security "the biggest Ponzi scheme of all time" in an interview with Joe Rogan.
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
"China before Communism" is the funniest shit ever because the entire thing is like "we used to ride dragons everywhere and be able to shoot fireballs with Qigong but then the CCP stole our jing powered spaceships"
"It's a far-right cult" written on a Falun Gong poster in NYC
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
🚨HOLY COW: President Trump announces he will be REMOVING ALL golden retrievers that are currently playing basketball on NBA rosters.
🚨HOLY COW: President Trump announces he will be REMOVING ALL illegal aliens that are currently on Social Security.
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
My god man. Everyone on planet earth has dirt on Republicans except for democrats
The RNC allegedly failed to notify the FBI that its email systems had suffered a serious breach by Chinese hackers for fear of bad press during Donald Trump’s 2024 campaign for the presidency. trib.al/h3jmS47
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
Stop calling it the Roman salute. Stop normalizing and sanitizing the Nazi Salute.
Mexican actor Eduardo Verástegui gave another Roman salute at CPAC 2025. Follow: @AFpost
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
Shark Tale (2004) is everywhere for those with the eyes to see
Keke Palmer stuns for the NAACP Image Awards
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
We are to believe that returning bodies in coffins is more disrespectful and deplorable than this?
Not a painting. Palestinians in body bags.
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
Hope the guys making this thing are recording a bunch of increasingly ominous audio logs about the process onto individual USB sticks and scattering them around the facility
Protoclone, the world's first bipedal, musculoskeletal android.
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
I remember father's day 2020 holding up an iPad for a father of 3 so his kids could say goodbye to him remotely. Their sobs coming out of tiny tablet speakers is a sound I won't ever forget.
Crazy to me how many people have memory holed that first 6 months of Covid where so many people were dying that they had to park refrigerator trucks outside of hospitals
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Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator retweeted
Posted minutes after the Commander of the ISS said Musk lied about the stranded astronauts in his Fox interview with Trump.
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