What happens on Church Street, stays on Church Street. Or maybe not? Welcome to the lives, loves and paint charts of the Real Housewives of Stoke Newington.

Stoke Newington, N16
Joined June 2017
Peace of the evening once again broken by the neighbour whittling his spoons.
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It's so nice that the council have got @HouseofHackney to do the drain covers now. #AllInTheDetails xitter.cf/hackneycouncil/status/…
Does anyone know where in the borough you can spot this new drain cover design? 🍍
24 moths in the pheromone trap. It might be time to get the cashmere out of the freezer.
Met the woman who's moved in next door. She's a handspinning and knitting consultant. Says she's freelance.
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You'd think Rachel invented Puglia.
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Gudrun's wandering about offering her home made elderflower ice lollies like Lady Liberty with her torch.
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Just to warn you, there appears to be someone in Clissold Park with a cockerpoo called Tapenade.
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13 moths in the pheromone trap. A promising start to the day.
Esme's been to a Ted Talk. I've painted my eyeballs on my eyelids.
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Obviously delighted You're Beautiful acquired the apostrophe, but they seem also to have acquired fingerprint ID. Bit much for a spray tan.
The recycling's 80% rosé bottles. Pretty.
Only seven moths in the pheromone trap today. Disappointing.
Someone needs to tell Rachel not having a TV doesn't necessarily make you interesting. Seeing her at yoga later.
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Gudrun thinks she's so fabulous, and yet there she is ordering cappuccinos after 10am. Oh dear.
24 moths in the pheromone trap. A good day.
Thank god the paddling pool's open. Thought I was going to have to schlep them down to Shoreditch House.
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There's nothing wrong with today that 2 nurofen, a berocca, a spirulina smoothie, a yoga class and a fried egg sandwich can't put right.
Everyone very animated about: 73 terminating at Oxford Circus; Brexit; moths. I'm going to need a lot more Sauvignon Blanc.
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