Everton Think they're playing FIFA - great game !

Might have to start supporting @chelseafc after drogba's return, it's like FIFA 2011 all over again 👌 #managermode

Nothing like a bit of @originalsource in the eyeball before bed 😭

"I think I know every fit girl in Bristol" quote: anon 😂

I'm not even sure this over cooked. microwaved bowl of white shit I just bought at work, can even be considered 'eggs' 🐣🐔💩

Some kid just cycled past me with a can of Stella in his drinks holder 😂 it's 10.43am and he's drink cycling... Wrong on so many levels

Why has my phone been on charge for 2 hours and only reached 10%? #firstworldproblems

Bargain!

“@LadHumour: Do you even surf Bro?.. vine.co/v/h1JTwLh3wDu” forgot how good this was 😂

as if the waitress in nandos just asked me if I'd ever been here before... Bitch please 😏

Anyone else forget the World Cup final was on? I bet @maxlaurie397

As if arsenal are being sponsored by @pumafootball They've basically conceded defeat and accepted they won't finish in the top 3 already...

When someone comments on your knowledge and ability to perform your job, who can't even do theirs properly 👌

I had a terrific Friday night 👌

Personally I like Suarez. He adds that bit of excitement footballs missing

My entire foot is one big chode. My toes look like they're on sideways, and my foot is too small to fit a size 10 but too wide for a 9 😒

Girls who talk about how hard the train... Who don't even train... 😷

The only trouble with having an iPhone, is everyone has the same alerts! I get so excited when I hear someone else's phone go off 😒