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“Truth has no religion. It speaks one universal language that no lie can silence.” - Professor Sandra C. Duru
I have been deliberately quiet about this my daddy’s “AFRICAN PARENT COMMENT” and I see that some people are already misunderstanding my silence. My people, calm down small. Silence does not always mean agreement, disagreement or fear. Sometimes person just dey busy! Lol.
I actually planned to address this last week because, beyond the humor in Daddy’s statement, there is a serious conversation hiding inside it. Suicide, mental health, our laws, the way African parents traditionally respond to emotional distress, and how society can protect vulnerable people without criminalizing them for needing help are issues we should discuss intelligently.
As usual, I will bring my classroom here. I will examine what he said, what I think he meant, where I agree or disagree, and most importantly, what should concern all of us collectively.
It has simply been an extremely busy week for me. But no worries, I am coming. And when Professor enters classroom, we will separate the African parent humor from the law, public policy, mental health and common sense.
Because sometimes, “If you try it, I will deal with you!” may sound very African parentish and funny, but behind the laughter is a subject that deserves a much deeper conversation.
Let me close with small African parent common sense, lol. If Akpabio, his wife and innocent children, after being dragged, insulted, emotionally tormented and subjected to all manner of allegations on social media, never jump inside river, abeg, wetin you dey find for Oron Sea or Third Mainland Bridge? Who send you go near weapon because of temporary problems? Come back here jare! Life never finish. Na problem you get, no be appointment with your ancestors! Lol. Stay alive, seek help, fight through it, heal, and give yourself the opportunity to see another beautiful chapter of your life.
I will share my thoughts. Make nobody run first. Class never start! Lol.
Prof. Mgbeke
You know, there is something about social media that I honestly find interesting. Somehow, we have convinced ourselves that once a person holds a public position, they are no longer allowed to be human. You can insult them, disrespect them, harass them, use whatever choice of words you like, and somehow they are expected to sit there smiling, nodding and responding like nothing happened. Haba! Who made that rule? Lol.
Having an official position does not wipe away a person’s feelings, emotions, dignity or right to respond. A title does not suddenly turn somebody into a punching bag.
Of course, emotional intelligence and maturity matter, especially when you occupy public office. Sometimes wisdom demands that you ignore certain things and keep moving. But emotional intelligence should not become a permanent license for certain people to behave irresponsibly, bring reckless words to social media, insult others and then expect a kiss and a “thank you” for being stupidly rude and disrespectful.
Someone from the Southeast sent me something, and another media personality sent me another message, both demanding that I give my opinion on the issue involving my big sister, Abike Dabiri. I told them without sentiments that, in my opinion, the woman was even too calm, nice and polite in what they are complaining about! Lol.
Try some of those things with me and you may get the worst feeling because nobody has a monopoly on energy. Nobody is immune to receiving back the same quantum they freely distribute. Lol. And perhaps my perspective comes from knowing Sister Abike beyond social media.
Auntie Abike and I were neighbors around Off Allen Avenue, Ikeja, and I met her through Uncle Frank Olize, Uncle Yinka Craig and Kola Marshal during my TV and radio days on NTA, MITV and Star 101.5 FM. I had CASE STUDY Live while Kola had Youth Round Table in those days.
This woman has always been a great lover of Nigeria. From the Abike I knew personally, tribalism is certainly not how I would describe her.
Auntie Abike, Auntie Ruth and Funmi Iyanda even nicknamed me “Coconut Head.” Lol. Auntie Abike would look at me and say, “Hmm, this one, she no go gree ooo. Give her what she’s asking for abeg!” Then she would finish with, “Se oti jeun sha? I will be in the newsroom if you need anything,” while rubbing my coconut head. Her laughter had a special way of making me calm down and sometimes allowing my big uncles to win. Lol.
Those are memories you cannot manufacture. So when I speak about her, I am speaking from my own personal experience of the woman I knew. She is a good woman.
Public office comes with responsibility and scrutiny, absolutely. But it does not cancel anybody’s humanity. If we demand emotional intelligence from public officials, perhaps we should also demand basic decency from the people addressing them.
Respect should never be a one-way street, mbok!
PROF. MGBEKE
Yesterday was an extremely busy day for me with school activities, official responsibilities and preparations for our upcoming PTS events, so I really didn’t have the time to respond to the imported parrot and her G & H. But please, do not mistake my busy schedule, academic duties or professional responsibilities for silence or lack of time. I always make time for whatever needs to be accomplished. And when the ugly ones come my way, I simply turn them into something beautiful and productive for myself and others. Remember, nothing is wasted around me. I turn trash into treasure!
Now, let me remind the imported parrot that public office is not a rehabilitation center. It is not a therapy room. It is not a playground for unresolved trauma, uncontrolled impulses, weaponized emotions, lies, propaganda and endless drama.
When you mock people’s dead fathers, body shame old men who are no longer alive simply because you are not in good terms with their children, and mock people for losing their fathers, you should remember that everybody has a family history. You cannot throw stones at other people’s fathers and families and suddenly become allergic to questions about your own family history. Some things are simply beneath a serving Senator.
Every time I read another disturbing episode involving Natasha Akpoti Uduaghan and the PEOPLE OF KOGI CENTRAL, I am reminded of one uncomfortable truth that power without emotional stability and discipline can become a national risk. Maybe instead of carrying baggage of lies, propaganda, manipulation, accusations and making noise like a sick imported parrot, the focus should be on the single opportunity she was privileged to have to serve her people well.
We heard the allegations of being sidelined from committee activities by Senator Ireti Kingibe. We heard the numerous allegations against me, that I cloned and AI generated her voice, that I am a school dropout and not even a PhD candidate, talk more of being a Professor, that I am in America as a fugitive scamming people and all that. We heard recordings that, in my view, raised serious questions about conversations with a blogger and plans involving political propaganda. We heard accusations against the Senate President involving murder, human organ harvesting and sexual harassment, and till today the question remains, NATASHA AKPOTI, WHERE IS THE EVIDENCE?
Tension everywhere! Drama everywhere!! Accusations everywhere!!! But here is the bigger question nobody wants to ask. Before we hand over legislative authority to individuals who will shape policies affecting millions of citizens, do we conduct comprehensive mental health evaluations? Do we mandate drug testing? Do we require proper psychological and psychiatric assessments? Do we test for emotional intelligence? Or do we simply clap, campaign and cast votes for awon WEREY?
Leadership is not just about academic certificates, physical appearance or looks. It is about emotional regulation, impulse control, conflict resolution, teamwork and the ability to disagree without self destructing or destabilizing institutions. Emotional intelligence is not a luxury course. It should be compulsory education for anyone seeking public office. If you cannot manage your emotions, you cannot manage public responsibility.
If you cannot distinguish between professional disagreement and personal persecution, you should not sit in a lawmaking chamber. If you constantly escalate tensions rather than resolve them, at some point citizens have the right to ask whether the problem is really everybody else. And this is not about gender. It is about stability, competence and institutional integrity.
I will humbly recommend mandatory psychological evaluation, appropriate psychiatric screening, routine drug testing under lawful standards, emotional intelligence certification and conflict management training for public servants and lawmakers before they are sworn into sensitive offices…
“Public office is not a reality show. If you make serious accusations, BRING THE EVIDENCE. Leave people’s dead fathers alone, control the drama, and SERVE YOUR PEOPLE.
Leadership requires discipline, emotional intelligence and accountability.
As for the gbas gbos, AGBO WEREY has been prescribed!” - Prof. Mgbeke
I will humbly recommend mandatory psychological evaluation, appropriate psychiatric screening, routine drug testing under lawful standards, emotional intelligence certification and conflict management training for public servants and lawmakers before they are sworn into sensitive offices. A Senate chamber is not a reality show. It is the engine room of democracy.
If there is tension, resolve it professionally. If there is disagreement at anytime, document it procedurally. If there is conflict, address it institutionally. But if the pattern is perpetual chaos, accusations and emotional theatrics, citizens have a right to demand accountability and fitness for public responsibility because governance is too serious for this kind of drama.
Nigeria deserves lawmakers who are stable, disciplined, accountable, competent, honorable and psychologically equipped to carry the weight of national responsibility.
The moral high ground is that when you make accusations against someone, you must bring evidence. Face the issues. Serve your people. And please, leave people’s dead fathers alone because everybody came from somewhere and everybody has a family story.
Anything less is legislative malpractice, and I have prescribed AGBO WEREY to the person or people concerned.
Someone lost her own father to MAGUN yet she still beats her own biological mother like a thief and sends her out in the middle of the night! It’s only a psychiatric patient that can boldly accuse people of crimes they did not commit and instead of providing evidence, she goes to the airport yelling like a very drunk and mentally deranged woman that the president said her case should be dismissed instead of begging to SHOW HER EVIDENCE!
A werey is always a werey! Let her build the psychiatric hospital for her retirement and for her NGO because there’s no vacancy for MAD people in the National Assembly.
Prof. Mgbeke
PART THREE: THE RAINBOW COALITION!
My people, I promised to bring you Part Three, so here I am before una drag me by my scarf for owing the classroom! Lol! We have talked about Akpabio and Shettima. Now, come closer. Wike, Soludo and Adeleke came from three different political directions, but somehow, they all landed inside the same PBAT political mathematics. This is where it gets interesting!
First, Nyesom Wike. A PDP man standing at an APC Presidential Campaign Council inauguration and openly supporting PBAT already tells you that Nigerian politics has entered another chapter. Wike’s point was that previous governments knew many of Nigeria’s problems but did not have the political will to confront them, while Tinubu entered and started taking difficult decisions from Day One.
Then Wike said the part I really liked: deliver your own state! Oh yes, simple! If you call yourself a political heavyweight, let us see the weight from your polling unit, ward and state. Don’t sit somewhere waiting for Tinubu to win nationally, then iron your finest agbada and rush to Abuja to celebrate another person’s political labour. Biko, who did the farming? Lol!
From Wike’s political weight, Professor Chukwuma Soludo entered with his own progressive mathematics, and my professor came with economics plus small correction for his wayo brother Hope Uzodimma. Lol!
Soludo made it clear that APGA’s support rests on the unity, security and shared prosperity of Nigeria. But when the progressive family was being counted and APGA appeared to have disappeared from the register, Professor said, mba! Lol! He reminded them that APGA was registered as a progressive party in 2002, twelve years before APC, and he said, “If you count progressives and you don’t count APGA, it is not complete.”
Meaning, my brother Hope, biko, next time you are counting the children in the progressive family, count everybody well before Professor collects the attendance register from you! Lol!
But Soludo was not there just to correct anybody. He spoke about moving from difficult reforms and stabilization into shared prosperity, talked about “pragmatic progressivism,” and made it clear that APGA sees itself as a partner in that journey.
Then came Governor Ademola Adeleke, and immediately the political classroom developed soundtrack and dance steps! Hope started feeling the effects of the Osun elections on his seat with that song, “dem go feel it!” Lol!
Adeleke’s own message was simple. He said four years is not enough for these reforms to fully mature. He threw his weight behind PBAT, asked Nigerians to give the reforms more time, and then said they would sing and dance their way back to Aso Rock.
My people, once dancing enters the political curriculum, abeg leave Adeleke alone. That one does not need tutorial! Lol!
Now, forget the jokes for one minute and look at the picture.
Wike, PDP. Soludo, APGA. Adeleke, Accord. Different political homes, yet all inside the same presidential campaign structure. And Senate Leader Opeyemi Bamidele gave it an interesting name: the “rainbow coalition.”
Aha! Now you understand the political mathematics I have been talking about.
When I say PBAT has politically drained the opposition, I am talking about the alliances, defections, bridges and cross party political structure gathering around him. I am not declaring an election result before Nigerians vote. Never! Because after all the speeches, calculations, agbada, progressive family meetings and Adeleke’s dancing, no politician owns the Nigerian people!
They will strategize. They will form coalitions. They will campaign and calculate their own political mathematics. But Nigerians will vote, nature will take its course, and ultimately, GOD will have the final say!
Now, don’t go too far o! PBAT himself still entered this classroom, and I have something to say about that.
That is Part Four. Lol!
Prof. Mgbeke
MONDAY SOUL TONIC
My beloved friends, fans, followers, and the Truth Ambassadors, I know you have missed me here. I stopped by our Massachusetts TUFF office for a quick meeting with our great team concerning our upcoming events and Project TruthShield, but I couldn’t allow Monday to pass without dropping a little Soul Tonic for you.
PBAT Part 3 is still coming, and someday I will gist you properly about my connection with the Kogi people, especially Natasha’s constituency. Yes o, Kogi people are my in-laws and my people too. My aunt Phoebe (Nee Duru) married into Kogi State, I have beautiful and handsome cousins there who are my own blood, and late Paul Enema was my good brother too. So before you ask me next time, “What is your business with Kogi State?” please watch your tongue before it carries you where your legs cannot follow. Lol. Natasha Akpoti also knows our history from Gwagwalada, Lagos and Port Harcourt. We are simply two different people with different personalities, choices and values, but that gist is not for today. She has always been a serial liar and she is fantastic in deception! When the time comes she will hear her own lies and see how she has destroyed herself by herself.
Today is Monday, and I would rather feed your soul than feed distractions. So here is my nugget: “There is a lesson in every test and trial that God permits us to go through in life, and it is your responsibility to find and make the most of it.” - Prof. Sandra Chidinma Duru.
And that brings me to the main thing, lol. Learn to see humiliation, disappointment and rejection as redirection to greatness. Not every closed door is punishment. Sometimes rejection is protection, delay is preparation, disappointment is direction, and what embarrassed you yesterday may become part of the story that strengthens you tomorrow.
I know this because I have lived it. I have been disappointed, rejected, lied against, abused, betrayed, denied, humiliated and pushed into situations that could have broken me, but somehow I kept moving, and many of those painful moments redirected my life to something greater. That is why I will never allow one bad chapter to convince me that the whole book is bad.
So if life knocked you down yesterday, get up today. Cry if you need to, rest if you must, learn your lesson, but don’t unpack your bags inside disappointment and start living there. Lol. Keep moving!
Sometimes what you thought was meant to bury you becomes the soil where your greatness grows. Some doors closed because you had stayed there long enough, some people left because their chapter ended, and some plans failed because your journey needed another direction.
So this Monday, KEEP FIGHTING, KEEP LEARNING, KEEP GROWING AND KEEP BECOMING. Your rejection may simply be life telling you, “Not here, my dear. Keep moving. There is more ahead.”
Have a beautiful and productive week, my people. My brothers, I hope my sisters took good care of you over the weekend, mbok?
Prof. Mgbeke
When was the last time you called him the exact name his mom used to call him, or called him by his middle name, and you didn’t suggest or request anything, but instructed him in your silliness and silliest way:
“XYZ, get dressed and get into the car. We are hanging out the whole weekend. Shhhh, no excuses! I am driving, and I am just taking you out. All bills on me! I will bring you back home to sleep, and work starts on Monday.”
Then you seal it up with a kiss and go wait for him in the car!
Hey, sisters, before you do this, make sure that you have helped to clear his workload, family responsibilities, and clear his head with totori the night before.
I bet you, he will just look at you and say, “Yes, ma!” Lol.
Finish him patapata!
Prof. Mgbeke
My people, no wonder HINTS MAGAZINE missed me! Lol. Back then, Dr. Rueben Abati and company enjoyed plenty of my FREE ROMANCE journalism and creative gist. Some of my ideas travelled farther than my name, but make we leave that gist for another weekend! I was busy running Zest Media and Entertainment, PAAO, SANCHHY and Excellence, being Madam and a helper of destiny, not a destiny destroyer.
Years later, I watched ARISE TV OJY and ABATI trying so hard to demean me and I felt highly disrespected and disappointed in them and their irresponsible behavior towards me. Anyways, life get sense of humor sha! Lol.
Anyway, una go enjoy the talent for FREE here. Weekend Totori Class continues! Call that man his mama’s special name, clear his head, give him small totori, grab the car keys and tell him, “Get dressed, I am driving, bills on me, no excuses!” If you arrange the assignment well, na “Yes, ma” go end the discussion! Lol.
There is something deeply romantic about a good woman whose presence makes a man temporarily forget his position, the time, his social status and everything waiting on his desk because he is completely glued to her voice and conversation.
My sister, if you haven’t made that man lose track of time on a phone call, whether it started as business, an official conversation or ordinary gist, check the connection! He may be hearing you, but is he really PRESENT? Lol.
Beauty is not just a fine face, expensive clothes or a banging body. A truly beautiful woman has a sweet, captivating personality, a soothing voice, a pure heart and an energy that makes connection effortless. She doesn’t struggle to charm him; she naturally draws him in. One minute you are discussing serious business, the next minute he has forgotten that he is an oga somewhere and is laughing like somebody’s little boyfriend and you try to get him back on track with a silly joke, lol.
That is feminine power without noise. And don’t mistake sweetness for weakness. The same woman who can melt him with her voice, make him laugh uncontrollably and keep him glued to a conversation can become firm, powerful, intelligent and completely in control when and where she is needed. Yet, he stays with her forever despite her hot and cold sides. You know why? She is feminine enough to know what he needs and what he wants and above all what he deserves at any given moment of his existence around her.
Be his peace, his laughter, his intellectual companion and that sweet distraction he never wants to hang up on. Yet, take care of his weaknesses and be his “high tension and naked wire” to the enemies coming for his peace or his head, oh yes!
Beauty may catch his eyes, but your silliness, purity, personality, character, voice and the way he feels in your presence are what make him stay on the phone long after the original conversation has finished.
Bystanders may call him a fool but he doesn’t even care about what he is called just to get that precious attention/moment frequently!
Be a good woman with a heart of purity and give genuine love and kindness to your man! Be tough on him but let it be “tough love” mixed with kindness, mbok! No give am heartbreak or heart attack but you can shake him up, it’s a good heart workout for him💋🍾
Abeg, don’t snatch people’s husbands oooh! Do it with your own man, abeg!
Prof. Mgbeke
Beauty gets attention, but presence keeps it. If your voice, personality and energy cannot make him forget the time and become somebody’s little boyfriend for a moment, my sister, network never connect! A beautiful woman is sweet and soft where needed, but firm, intelligent and powerful when it matters. That COMBO is the real totori!
You can still be Mummy G.O, Hajia, a decent woman, a career woman, a boss lady, and still be a homely woman and your man’s GIRL! Abeg, one personality does not have to swallow the entire woman. Lol!
There is a dressing for every occasion, and there is a time for everyone and everything. You cannot be wearing your boardroom face and Mummy G.O uniform around the house 24/7 as if the man married the entire church committee. Sometimes, madam, remove the seriousness! Wear your hot bum shorts and tank top, smell ridiculously nice, talk silly, roam around the house disturbing him, interrupt his phone call with nonsense that makes him struggle not to laugh, and remind that man that underneath all those titles is still his sweet girl!
BE A COMBO PROMAX! Professional outside, responsible when responsibility calls, classy when the occasion demands it, homely at home, playful with your man, and just a little troublesome for flavor. Lol!
Life is already carrying enough seriousness on its head. Your home should not become another board meeting. Bring warmth, laughter, friendship, playfulness and that little spark that makes him look at you and wonder, “Who sent this woman into my life?” Lol!
Woman, diversify your portfolio! Mummy G.O has her shift. Hajia has her shift. Madam CEO has her shift. But when it is your man’s turn, biko, clock out and become his girl!
Make him laugh. Make him miss you while you are still inside the same house. Make him go crazy and foolish for you, if he doesn’t sing from his belly for you, you are not turning him on enough! Handle him softly and with care and genuine love and you will make him fall into your hands. You no need juju!
FINISH HIM PATAPATA! Lol!
Prof. Mgbeke
SUNDAY SERMON MEETS WEEKEND TOTORI: WATER YOUR OWN GARDEN, MBOK! Lol!
I wanted to drop this yesterday, but I said no, this one deserves to enter Sunday because apparently we need a combo of Weekend Totori and Sunday Sermon! Lol! So married people and lovers, come to church. Today’s sermon is about watering your own garden!
My beautiful women, romance your man small kwanu, eeeh! Take care of yourself, exercise daily, eat well, drink your water, rest, shower, moisturize, smell romantically delicious and wear something simple that makes you feel beautiful. Then add small trouble, yes, small “tintinrin-nice” trouble, one sweet look, one unexpected hug, one silly whisper in his ear and continue walking like an innocent daughter of Zion. Lol!
“Awa” women, stop serving cold brews and expecting your man to pour warmly into you! Spice up the atmosphere, joor. Make him feel warm, wanted and appreciated. Sometimes one silly word, one mischievous look and the way you smell can make that man hot and sweaty before you have even explained yourself. I bet you, brother will sing! Lol!
But my brothers, RECIPROCATE! Don’t let your woman create all that sweetness while you are staring at another man’s garden. You see another woman glowing and your eyes begin international roaming. Oga, somebody may be watering that garden! Come home, compliment your woman, reduce her stress, make her laugh, flirt with her and create the atmosphere that allows your own flower to bloom.
Everything cannot be children, bills, work, politics and “Did you buy bread?” Be lovers. Be friends. Work out together, eat healthier, laugh, flirt, smell good and say silly things to each other. Pinch her cheeks and let her know that you’re troublesome too.
The Sunday sermon is simple my people. Biko stop admiring another person’s garden. Water yours, create the atmosphere, protect the sweetness and enjoy the beautiful person in your life.
Abeg, whatever happens after this sermon, please don’t ask Prof. Mgbeke for the closing prayer. That practical examination is between you, your partner and your locked door! Mbok, class dismissed! Lol!
Two lucky couples will receive Mgbeke’s OJEGE 3, OJEGE 7, plus their choice of TWO more products from Prof. Mgbeke’s FARMERCY! Simply guess what you think is coming up in our next Weekend Totori Class. You don’t have to be 100% correct. Just one sweet guess may win you some natural skincare products and supplements from OUR BRAND! Lol! Mgbeke Village Hut mgbekevillagehut.com
Prof. Mgbeke
“My beautiful people, today’s sermon is simple! Water the love you already have and revive the revivables! Lol! Look good, smell good, stay healthy, laugh together, flirt with your own person very often and don’t let responsibilities turn lovers into roommates. And mbok, drop your guess for our next Weekend Totori Class because two lucky couples are going home with some Mgbeke sweetness! Let’s see who can decode what Prof. Mgbeke is cooking next. Lol!” And abeg, being a wife of a religious leader or public figure should not make you feel over religious or over privately covered in your own home and not to totori your own man! Abeg, wake up his tired and hungry body, soul and spirit already drained by 9ja palava, mbok!
Coming next is PBAT part 3.” - Prof. Mgbeke
Ninnah Samuel Esq., first, let me say that you are brilliantly beautiful, and I absolutely love this outfit and your environment! It’s a unique answer to that question: you are your father’s true daughter, and you didn’t assault your mother or any other woman. That’s why you are a blessing to your generation and not a disappointment or a disgrace!
Secondly, my own father is Pa. B. C. Duru, a man of honor and integrity who raised me not to be a serial liar, a promiscuous woman, a drug addict, a propagandist, or a manipulator, and certainly not to weaponize gender against men or anyone! He taught me not to marry any man under duress or snatch another woman’s husband with voodoo and seduction wey carry juju! Mbok!
He taught me to be truthful, humble, honest, and respectful to the people around me, and to respect the laws of any country where I live and work.
He taught me never to raise my hands against my mother, but to honor my mother! He taught me never to raise false accusations against anyone, no matter how much they provoke me.
He taught me to keep my “kpekus” clean, safe, and sacred for ONLY one man, and not to be a kezaya or a public toilet! He taught me not to do BBL, but to love my natural beauty and respect my body. This natural yansh may not enter the room five minutes before me, but na the one my papa and mama gave me, and I carry am with pride! Lol!
And finally, my father taught me not to use my man as a handbag! Ah! A whole human being cannot become Birkin bag wey I go carry from one political function to another, mbok! Lol!
So, since we are now asking, “Who is your father?” I have proudly answered my own. My father is Pa. B. C. Duru, and these are some of the values he raised me with.
Prof. Mgbeke
My beautiful people, which one una want first?
Should we bring the Weekend Totori Class make body calm small, or should we enter the political classroom immediately with PBAT PART 3?
Choose wisely o! Because one will make you smile and check your relationship temperature, while the other one may make some political blood pressure rise.
Mbok, CLASS IS CLASS! Which one first?
My vote is TOTORI FIRST! Then PBAT Part 3 later today.
What do you think?
Prof. Mgbeke
I was supposed to bring you this post last night, but mbok, life had other plans! I got back from my last meeting very late, and by the time I settled down, your Prof. Mgbeke had no remaining battery to give anybody Friday night Totori class. Lol!
So, I couldn’t bring you our Part Three, I couldn’t address Daddy Akpabio’s interesting “SUICIDE” comment, and I couldn’t even fulfill my promise of our Friday night Body and Soul calming lecture. Don’t worry, I owe you nothing! Lol! I will still get to all of them.
But meanwhile, who says Friday night sweetness cannot enter Saturday afternoon? Mbok, romance does not check calendar!
So married people, lovers, partners and intending lovers, gather here small. This Saturday afternoon, let us leave Nigerian politics outside the bedroom door for a moment and discuss another serious national assignment: how to keep sweetness, friendship, attraction and healthy romance alive in your own relationship!
And today, I am particularly coming for my beautiful women, but my handsome brothers, don’t disappear. You need this class too because romance is a language spoken by two people. When one person speaks it beautifully, the other person must understand it, respond to it and stop looking over the fence admiring somebody else’s garden! Lol!
Now, come closer. Let’s Totori ourselves small.
I dey come, let me first get my routine together. Today is lemon water, carrot and pawpaw after gym session and a warm mint and cloves bath. I will be stretching and no long runs, no lifting weights and no press ups today.
Prof. Mgbeke
PART TWO: SHETTIMA ENTERED THE RING!
As promised, I am back with Part Two before anybody comes to drag me by my scarf and remind me that I owe you people this political classroom! Lol! And yes, after this political series, I will bring our Friday night body and soul calming lecture because after analysing these politicians and their political mathematics, body and soul deserve small peace! Lol!
Yesterday, we dissected Senator Godswill Akpabio’s few but powerful words, the jokes that were not entirely jokes, the body language and those political messages that required no interpreter.
Today, let us move to my calm, calculated, soft spoken but exceptionally intelligent and powerful Vice President, whom I jokingly call my “no nonsense but sweetest daddy,” Kashim Shettima. Mbok, Daddy did not come to play! Lol!
Daddy Shettima described Daddy Peter Obi, whom he called his “very good friend,” as “the master of bogus statistics and incoherent economic prescriptions.” His memorable analogy was that Obi appeared to believe that a size 36 shirt made for Bangladesh would somehow fit Nigeria’s size 52 frame.
His argument was simple: you cannot just pick economic prescriptions from another country and transplant them into Nigeria without considering our population, institutions, economic structure and peculiar realities. But Daddy Shettima was not finished! Lol!
Responding to Obi’s claim concerning the 2023 presidential election, he described it as a “delusion of grandeur.” Before anybody comes for Prof. Mgbeke, biko, those are Shettima’s words, not mine. I am only your political classroom teacher reporting what was said! Lol!
Daddy Atiku Abubakar was not spared either. Shettima criticised the former Vice President over the way he addressed Tinubu and reminded him that he may choose to call him Bola, but Bola Ahmed Tinubu remains the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. At the same time, he said he would continue to accord Atiku the respect due to a former Vice President. Chaiii! Political punches with respect! Lol!
But Shettima was only one part of what happened in that room. Then Wike entered the conversation, and that is where the political mathematics became even more interesting.
Part Three is coming!
Prof. Mgbeke
