Points in Case

It’s Me, St. Anthony the Patron Saint of Lost Items, and Honestly You People Really Need to Get...

It’s getting ridiculous. You used to spend a solid three days turning the house over before you reached out

Polymarket Odds on My Friend’s Wedding

So there will be cake? - 90% Yes - 10% There will be a donut wall and people will make fun of it for being “too Millennial Pinterest”

Your Neighbor’s Doorbell Camera Privacy Policy

Visual Data: A candid view of your phone screen as you Googled symptoms (FYI, that XL soda can’t be doing your leaky gut any favors).

10 Signs You Are Experiencing a Middle Ages Crisis

You hate noisy taverns, and attending court banquets past 10 P.M. prolongs your usual gout for another day.

Things I Can Make After Dropping $500 on a One-Day Master Class in Balloon Artistry

Candle. Candlestick. Rope. Lead pipe. We’ve got most of the weapons from Clue now, that’s fun. The kids used to love playing Clue.

Contract Rider to Our Marriage Vows Regarding Bugs

Article I: Scenarios of Pests with Immediate Grounds for Marriage Dissolution Section 1.01 - Spiders in Maritime Craft

Brace Yourself, Because Now We’re Gonna Need a Third Fucking Factor to Authenticate Your Sorry Ass

There’s no way in hell I’m letting you order a burrito without making TRIPLE sure you are who you say you are.

So, You’ve Come Crawling Back to Your Big Jacket

Where’s your surfboard, Brian Wilson? I thought you’d be tanning in the yard right about now.

School Newsletter: Apex Predator and General Reminders

We know it has been a distraction that Ms. Stewart’s class pet, Jag, is actually a telekinetic, functionally immortal, seven-foot bipedal feline.

Internet Searches to Exonerate You for Murder

Google, give me some good vegetarian recipes. Because the thought of killing any living being just turns my stomach.

Reasons I Lost the Election According to My Campaign’s Post-Election Autopsy

Placed my left hand into every handshake that was offered to me. Just couldn't get the hang of it!

FAQ: Your New Subscription to Hellstack for Writers™

Please enjoy your free subscription, where you’ll receive every conceivable take on technique in more than five thousand daily newsletters.

Staff Picks from Your Local Bookstore from Employees Who Definitely Don’t Hate Each Other

The First Drafts of the Phrase “Trick or Treat”

Chocolate, candy, I don’t care, just don’t give me Witch’s Hair! / Tell 'em Frankenstein sent ya. / I love you.

I Am Your Oncologist, and I Will Be Delivering Your Stage-4 Diagnosis Through a Vintage Moog Vocoder

It’s got that classic, warm, articulate vocal clarity that is necessary in this situation.

Sponsored Noir

Her hair was brown, like a cool crisp Coca-Cola®. Her eyes were also brown, not unlike the refreshing Coca-Cola® mentioned earlier.