Philip Roth

Sorry I've been away from Twitter for so long, been getting really into Xbox.

Super-pumped for 'Real Steel.' Behind Wolverine, a robot boxing coach was the part Hugh Jackman was born to play.

I loved 'The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.'

In all seriousness, congratulations to Tomas Tranströmer.

Anyone know of any good YouTube tutorials on how to tie a necktie? I'm going to an advanced screening of 'Real Steel' tonight.

Who the fuck is Tomas Transformer?

If a character has an accent, write their dialogue EXACTLY how it sounds. It assures authenticity.

To this day, I am upset that Kurt Vonnegut was in 'Back to School.' I thought I nailed the audition. (Even though I read for Thornton Melon)

To people asking me to write an autobiography: It's called the "About the Author" page, dill weed.

Writing Tip: As I always say, have your characters wear T-Shirts with funny slogans on them. Great way to inject humor into any story.

Of course I'd change it up for a new generation of 'Hulk' fans. Maybe he turns red.

I've asked repeatedly if they want me to write a Pilot script. I have so many ideas for a Hulk TV show. It would be exciting, fun, and sexy.

Two new 'Hulk' movies in the past 10 years and no new 'Hulk' TV Show. Excuse my vulgarity, but that is total horse shit.

I glued it to a yard stick to jazz it up (the yardstick, not the lanyard).

Lanyards are great activities to do on long flights. I made one that was 3 feet while on the plane to the UK to pick up my Man Booker prize.

Sometimes I can just make lanyards for hours. Working on a green-yellow-blue guy right now.

Do they make tubs of Ben & Jerry's bigger than the standard size? Asking for a friend.

.@APStyleBook Is it "Arch Delux," "Arche Deluxe," "Arch Deluxe," or "Arche Delux?" I can never remember.

I wrote 'The Dying Animal' in one sitting after drinking five Rockstar Juiced Guavas.

People often ask me how I am able to produce so much writing at such a high rate. Three Words: Rockstar Energy Drink.