Peter Griffin

Heyyyy! Not much, just sittin here thinkin about whether I want nachos or a beer. Who am I kiddin, both. Whats good with you?

Hey

If you only have one eye, do you wink or blink?

Dumplings imply the existence of a large dumple

Chris lost it 😂😂😂

Why doesn't someone invent a clear toaster so you can see how toasted your toast is while it's toasting?

What if when you can't fall asleep it's because all the dream servers are full and you have to wait for someone else to disconnect first.

Not one time in any of the fast and furious movies did they stop for some gas

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think "oh shit its the cops"?

when someone speeds up to pass me but then we both get stuck at the same red light

When autocorrect changes it to “don’t duck with me”

How it feels when you go to the bathroom without your phone

Girls on Twitter the day after a party xitter.cf/ddgbpackers1/status/76…