The chocolate milk line was longer than security #ihatethewait #lax

"I HATE BED. I hate bed. I HATE BED...mama, because I hate bed. Yeah I HATE BED, yeah."

Thanks for the 3.25 hour delay @VirginAmerica with no updates. You don't have a captain and you boarded the plane anyway.

“@HuffingtonPost: The snowiest place in the world (PHOTOS) huff.to/yubnTz” @mike1ekim having snow withdrawals 😨

Whales are definitely not people but some people certainly are whales. #seaworld #PETA

Just because you're in your office doesn't mean you're working #lowperformer

I can't tweet at work #pwnd

There can be only one ::swish::

This sucks. Someone drive me home stat in a non doggified Nissan fucking Altima from the stone age