You often don't want the backstory.

Not everyone can be a standup comedian. Who's going to attend? @DougStanhope

Just reached the moment of social media. #Goodnight

Two lines delivered back to back describes today #Svengoolie

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavour.

"You can't argue with a good blowjob." George Carlin. #true

Just by having a moblie phone, you have less privacy then a citizen of North Korea.

"Millions of people are poorer or sicker or have died because of Mother Teresa's campaign against the empowerment of women in the Third World. She has gigantically increased the amount of poverty and misery in the world. And she was on the take from the vilest elements of the rich. She was a terrible person." Christopher Hitchens #SaintTeresa @NationalToday @HitchensQuotes

"She was not a friend of the poor. She was a friend of poverty. She liked poverty. She thought it was good for people. She told people to think of it as a gift from God, and she made sure that they stayed poor." Christopher Hitchens. #SaintTeresa @NatlToday @HitchensQuotes

"Her reputation for modesty was not the least inflated thing about her." Christopher Hitchens. @NatlToday #SaintTeresa

"Here is a woman who has already achieved canonization. This state of living sainthood might be defined as the miraculous condition of having all your actions judged by your reputation, instead of your reputation by your actions." Christopher Hitchens @NatlToday #SaintTeresa

Before you choose a mate to spend the rest of your life with, make sure you both don't share the same phobia. #FridayThoughts

Can we finally see them now Dolly?

A great day as an adult means getting paid, no traffic, no one annoys you, eat something and get a good night sleep.

Don't try to win. Try not to suck.

The first miracle Jesus ever did was bringing wine to a party.

Kolchak. #vampire #Svengoolie

Your job isn't really that hard; it really just the people you work with that makes it exhausting.