My uncle noticed his monthly water and sewage bill jumped from $85 to $290 over the last six months, even though his family didn't fill a single pool or leak a gallon. He called the municipal water board to report what he assumed was a meter error. The clerk explained that the city sold the local water treatment facility and underground main grid to an infrastructure equity fund last year to cover municipal budget deficits. When my uncle asked why that tripled his rate, she told him: "The private operator added a quarterly 'grid modernization surcharge' and an 'infrastructure maintenance access fee' to every residential account." Nothing about the pipes, pressure, or water quality improved. Private equity isn't just buying houses and daycares anymore. They are acquiring local utility monopolies so they can bill working families a mandatory tax on drinking water and flushing the toilet.