In the first series of Clarkson's Farm, a young woman told Jeremy Clarkson his sheep would never make money, and the wool cheque proved her right before the year was out. Ellen Helliwell was the shepherd he hired when it became clear he could not manage 78 ewes himself. She lambed them through the night, treated their feet, and told him the arithmetic at the start. Then came shearing. A gang arrives, charges by the head, and leaves a pile of fleeces. Clarkson sent the wool off and learned what every sheep farmer in Britain already knew. The fleece was worth less than the cost of taking it off the animal. For 800 years that fleece was the wealth of England. It paid for the cathedrals and the wars. A sheep was kept for five or six years for her wool, and the mutton at the end was a bonus that fed the country. Now the wool is a disposal problem, so the only thing a sheep can earn from is a lamb sold at five months. One income where there used to be three. Clarkson's flock lost money, and he said so on television. The reason the fleece is worthless is in your wardrobe. The jumper is acrylic, the fleece jacket is polyester, the carpet is nylon, and all of them are made from oil. Ellen could do everything a shepherd has had to do since the Bronze Age, and do it at three in the morning. The thing she could not do was compete with a plastics factory. Check the label in your collar before you ask why British lamb costs what it costs.