Allan Graves

@BirdWeatherHQ where do we go for support? Apart from the initial turn on, I can't tell if my puc is on. No light is displayed while charging, or in response to a button push. The app finds the puc intermittently. Not sure how to factory reset and try again.

They are real and i almost want to try them.

Christmas shopping with 6... Me: okay, what does mama like? 6: stuff to clean with!!? Me: that's a really bad idea.

"I need to be tested" is 2020s version of "I can't go to school I have a stomachache"

Me: how was the soccer game today? 8: it was great! There was a cool tree to climb!!!! Me:... You play soccer differently than I did.

5 minutes into my kids backseat marriage, the 8 was yelling at the 5,"LET'S NOT HAVE AN ARGUMENT!" so it seems to be going well.

ME: THAT'S GOING TO FALL ON YOUR FACE! 6: no it's not ... 6: OW... sobbing and wailing for many minutes. Me: .... :bangs head on wall for many minutes::

If anyone needs me to run their company, I just got a 6 and 8 to clean all their rooms and the upstairs. We also found the floor!

After a 2 hours car ride.... Me: feel better after the nap? 8: oh, I wasn't sleeping! Me: really? Sure looked like it. 8: I've been practicing! Me: .... Well it was very realistic. 8: thanks!

6, sometime after a watery sounding crash, screaming down the stairs: you can go in the kitchen, but I'm still cleaning the hallway. Me: ????? I'm tempted to just stay down here and pretend I don't have kids.

I just won the "rudest papa ever" award according to my 6, so I'll be working on my acceptance speech today if you need me.

My 8 went to soccer camp, and I swear that all she learned was "that seems sus bruuuh!" and "bruuuuh!"

Me: go do your homework for camp and find a fact on Germany online! 8: papa, did you know prostitution is legal in Germany? Me: .... Of all the facts...

@dad_on_my_feet dude, you famous. reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/com…

Me: who ate in the hallway? You know that's not allowed! 8: 6 did it! 6: AND I Meant TO!

Me: so let me get this straight, you took food from the cupboard and fridge.... To the couch. 6: yes. But I wasn't going to eat it. Me: so... You were going to do what with it? 6: I was just going to hug it! I didn't break a rule! #icanteven

My 8 just walked into the house: Well, I'm going to my room to die. I hope you're happy with the rest of your life.

I told my 8 she could have 5 bites of ice cream, so she took 5 Papa bites and finished 90% of it.

6 insists on calling bull elks, bulk elks, and I can't say he's wrong.

Wife: I feel ya! 6: I don't.