Operator🐰 🥩 🦴Nuts

LOGGING OFF ANNOUNCEMENT 📢 Hello, hiii, hellooo, hii Tomogos & friends, As silly as it sounds, I am logging off from my accounts for a while (they called this indefinite hiatus I think). I might come back, I might not, we'll see. The reason for this is that, I really feel physically & mentally exhausted. Lately, I could only see the negative parts of vtubing. The constant grind, new outfit debut, 3D debut, posting more content, creating more, interacting more and more. All of this makes me lose myself in it and always makes me feel like I am not enough just by streaming & existing in this space. As you know, I have experienced a lot of negativity & hate as well and even though it doesn't affect me as much anymore. I turned out to be more sensitive about it. And it built up in a way that, I don't really want to be here. Also, I am not a super social person & whenever I try to interact with a friend, etc. I always feel like I am bothering the person, I don't feel I belong in any friend group nor feel like anyone actually sees me as a friend. I feel excluded somehow in every social interaction I have. (No shade to anyone, I am trying to express how it works in my brain.) And I thought, these negative thoughts are coming from somewhere, something and it's all because I have been severely neglecting myself. My health, my hobbies, stuff I like to do. Since the debut, I didn't even hang out with most of my old friends, didn't do anything that I like to do by myself, couldn't even rest because of the pressure of "Yeah, I debuted. Now, I need to make millions of YouTube shorts or debuting a 3D model or new outfit or give people something I am still worth watching." I feel lost. What's success as a vtuber anyways? Do I need to be Twitch Partner, do I need to have 1k CCV? I don't know, I started this journey to find like minded people and have a chill place to make jokes and occasionally hang out but the pressure really affected how I view it. I don't want to sound ungrateful but I really felt underappreciated as well. Because I was putting an immense amount of effort in everything I do and it drained me so I was bitter about it to anyone who didn't acknowledged it. I know all of this is in my head. I know I need to focus on myself & take care of myself. And that's what I will do. I don't hate anyone. I just feel bittersweet about my experience in this space as a whole. It became harder for me to see the good & appreciate. I do hope every cool person around me, becomes more successful and happy. I hope, my community, all Tomogos will be also taking care of themselves during my absence. I hope no one will find this message too bitter, and hate me for it... Thank you for everything. I just wanted to show inside of my head as raw as possible so you can understand why I decided to log off. See you again hopefully 🩵