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Payton (@Omgpay) profile picture

Payton

@Omgpay

avid green kia soul hater

Joined June 2014
  • Tweets643
  • Following35
  • Followers71
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Photo by Payton (@Omgpay)Photo by Payton (@Omgpay)Photo by Payton (@Omgpay)Photo by Payton (@Omgpay)Photo by Payton (@Omgpay)Photo by Payton (@Omgpay)Photo by Payton (@Omgpay)Photo by Payton (@Omgpay)Photo by Payton (@Omgpay)Photo by Payton (@Omgpay)
and on the seventh day, God said shake ass
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my husband is fond of saying “i have tickleitis” instead of “stop tickling me”
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New challenge: eat all twelve Cinnabon bites from Taco Bell and if you never throw up again, at the time of your death Taco John himself will grant you an additional twenty years.
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watching sesame street from the 70s and there’s a clip of kids playing in the snow and now i’m crying
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Payton retweeted
Dansani (@D_Wads) profile picture
Dansani@D_Wads3 Oct 2025
The most underrated part of being a parent is making up a new language with your spouse and child
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It's here.
Image from 🝫 ✹ ᴰʳᵉᵃᵐ ᴶᵒᵘʳⁿᵃˡⁱˢᵗ (@mike_boreas)
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Image from Payton (@Omgpay)
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Payton retweeted
Dansani (@D_Wads) profile picture
Dansani@D_Wads2 Sep 2025
Big truck spotted
Image from Dansani (@D_Wads)
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Image from Payton (@Omgpay)
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My dad put The Pianist on at 9:30 am
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Image from Payton (@Omgpay)
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Image from Payton (@Omgpay)
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Image from Payton (@Omgpay)
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husband and i have a three hour drive which means it’s time for us to solve all of the world’s problems
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Image from Payton (@Omgpay)
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saying people w ADHD can't write an Instagram caption has to be more ableist than being against generative AI
milena☆ (@milenadraws) profile picturemilena☆@milenadraws22 Aug 2025
you people cant do ANYTHING
Image from milena☆ (@milenadraws)
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wrong there’s a bed bath & beyond at the oak wood mall in eau claire wi
Gavin Newsom (@GavinNewsom) profile pictureGavin Newsom
@GavinNewsom20 Aug 2025
The company that already went bankrupt and closed every store across the country two years ago? Ok.
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my girlfriend and i saw you from across the bar and wanted to tell you that you have the most little bug aura we’ve ever seen. yeah, seriously, major little bug vibes - yeah it’s compliment
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watching dune 2 rn and i read this as “lisan al gaib sounds like the name of a town in massachusetts” and i was like no it doesn’t
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