Bart Allen.

❝ ɪ'ᴍ ʙᴀᴛᴍᴀɴ. ❞ ʀᴇʙᴏᴏᴛᴇᴅ ɪᴍᴘᴜʟsᴇ (ʙᴀʀᴛ ᴀʟʟᴇɴ). #ᴅᴄʀᴘ. ʙᴀɴᴛᴇʀ/ᴏɴᴇ-ʟɪɴᴇʀs/ᴘʀᴏsᴇ. ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴛᴏ sʟs ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʟᴏᴛs. ♡ / ʀᴛ.

❝ I want a bubble bath. One with a duckie. ❞

Not for the first time, he doesn't think before moves; tiptoeing up to @CleverIntegrity and squeezing him like a killer. What could possibly go wrong with hugging a vigilante from behind?

❝ Pft...! What a dummy! There's nothin' lame about being a hugger. He should've said something sooner, maybe then he wouldn't have so many frown lines. I've got /soooo/ much lost time to make up for! ❞

His eyes widen; mystified. ❝ He— he /does/...? How do you know? ❞

❝ I dunno if my friends like hugs as much as I like hugs. I don't wanna make them mad. Last time I jumped on Kon, he Judo flipped me... ❞

❝ Man, I could sleep for a week... ❞

Impressed—? He must be. ❝ You bet. And it's also a sign of osteoporosis... sooooo... you might wanna get checked out... ❞

+ /did you know/ that the weather can make your body sore? It's got to do with barometric pressure— which sounds like "Bart"-ometric pressure, heh, isn't that cool? But anyway...! What I'm getting at is that I think we're both allergic to the clouds. ❞

They're the longest two minutes of his life and he looks a bit like he's going to busting to go to the toilet by the end of them, but he survives. ❝ So, my knee— you know the one— was hurting this morning and I was thinkin', cripes, maybe my leg's sick, so I googled it and +

❝ Move over, Bill Nye. I Googled this one. ❞

❝ Ooh...! Oh, oh! ❞ Raises his arm and waves it wildly. ❝ Wanna know something science-y? Pick me! ❞

❝ Hey, @AmazonAudacity, do you think we could sell these? ❞

The sound he wheezes out is almost a giggle. ❝ Whatever you say, /Red/ Robin. ❞