An old lady treated herself to a fancy hotel for her 70th birthday. At checkout, she questioned the $250 bill, saying she didn’t even have breakfast. The manager listed all the amenities she could’ve used, pool, shows, conference center. She replied, “But I didn’t.” Well, he said, "You could have used them". Finally, the old lady handed a $50 check. When told, “This is only $50,” she said, “I charged you $200 for sleeping with me.” He said, “But I didn’t!” She smiled, “Too bad, I was here, and you could have.”