Pretty sure this is some kind of racism.

This has to be one of the greatest Midwest emo records ever made. Truly sublime.

Y'all ever listen to The Sims: Unleashed soundtrack to not feel completely dead inside?

It's Autumn, bitches.

I've ordered 3 Greggs pizzas for my days off. I don't wanna think. I don't wanna cook. I don't wanna turn on an appliance. I don't wanna wash dishes. I just wanna be able to sit on the couch for 2 days, eating cold pizza, watching X-Files. Summer holidays can fuck right off.

Are you even normal if you haven't got at least one draft of a suicide letter in your notes app?

Bought a new bed. It weighs 280lbs. It's like sleeping on a slab of concrete. No squeaks, no rattles, no bounce. No nothing. It's fucking fantastic. I have finally found my bed.

There really be 27 year olds out here with gray hair. What the fuck? Did humanity just become genetically fucked post 1996?

That one juror driving home from court.

My contempt for white women has grown to massive proportions recently thanks to the Lindsey Clancy case. The Dunning-Kruger effect is in full fucking force.

Sat around the table with my friends, playing D&D on a bank holiday afternoon, eating Greggs pizza delivered by a Smolaian in a Mercedes... It's all good.

Americans calling a pasty a "hand pie" is so fucking cursed.

God, I really needed this vacation, guys. I'm so chill rn.

THE WRONG 80 YEAR OLDS ARE DYING. FUCK.

Two F22s just buzzed the town at about a 1000ft. Cheers, lads.

Found a perfect thing on Vinted. Go to checkout. "Someone else is already in the process of checking out on this item."

IT IS THAT TIME OF YEAR. IT HAS CRACKED BELOW 55°. I MUST NOW ADD TO MY BLANKET COLLECTION. I AM A MILLENIAL AND I WILL NEVER SLEEP UNDER A RUG EVER AGAIN.