Parody Account

Joined January 2024
NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Trevor Lawrence has seven intermediate middle pass attempts this half, per @NextGenStats Bo Nix has 10 all season.
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Y’all are all falling in line. You know good and damn well this man apologizes every 3 business days for something ridiculous that he says with his whole chest As a Football wife who understands these challenges, I’m just appalled Shame on you for giving him “respect.”
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
.@stephenasmith your comments about Lane were ignorant and disrespectful. Saying afterward that you would never make light of mental health doesn’t erase the way you spoke about Lane. Lane is my brother. I know the MAN beyond the uniform. You’re speaking with certainty about a decision you don’t have the personal context to explain. You can assess what his absence means for the Eagles. But suggesting he wouldn’t walk away if they were winning is reckless. A winning record doesn’t tell you whether somebody is okay. Mental health doesn’t follow the NFL schedule. It ain’t linear. It’s DAILY. A man can commit to a season and later recognize that continuing comes at a cost he can no longer carry. He has every right to act on that. We ask these men to be accountable to their teammates, coaches, organizations and fans. That responsibility also extends to their children, their families and THEMSELVES. Think about what your delivery tells the next person who is struggling and afraid to speak up. That their honesty might become material for somebody’s next segment. Lane doesn’t owe you private details to earn your respect. He told us all what he needed to prioritize. That should have been enough. You have a massive platform. Carry the responsibility that comes with it. Our world is divided enough -Duke
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Hey, Stephen A. Smith: Lane Johnson's mom has cancer. His dad is also sick. I read your book and you talked about how difficult your life got when your mom got sick and after she passed, you had to go to therapy because you were depressed and you took time off of work. Your mocking Lane Johnson's mental health struggles when you've been open about your own mental health struggles? Come on, man. I know you're busy, but do some research before going on TV @stephenasmith #Eagles
Stephen A. Smith mocks Lane Johnson for retiring to focus on his mental health
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
WHAT A DAY 〽️ #SkiUMah #Gophers #RTB
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Ravens Trey Hendrickson (finger) has been ruled out for week 4. Ravens cancelled their trade for Maxx Crosby this offseason. Maxx Crosby this year: 2 sacks 4th most hurries (11) 5th most total pressures (17) 89.8 PFF grade (4th best)
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Now here’s how it looks in the final 5 minutes of 4th quarters only
Every fanbase swears the refs screw them Here's every flag in crunch time since 2018 Are you getting robbed or getting bailed out?
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
This is not a real graph, this is an altered photo of the original graph that is being quoted to manipulate and misrepresent what’s actually being presented. x.com/sticktothemode…
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
If athletes create less value, then surely universities would be comfortable letting the free market decide, no?
This morning on ESPN's First Take, Nick Saban argued player and coach pay are "totally different markets." "That's like asking me 'Does a student's scholarship equal the professor's pay?' I mean, how much value does a coach create for a university?" 📺 💰️
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Tom Brady: -bangs 10s -hotter now than at 25 -invited to 427 parties a year -$375M TV contract having the time of his life Gisele: -cheated -peaked in 2006 -married to a guy who teaches jiu-jitsu in a strip mall between a Boost Mobile and Panda Express -0 Super Bowls
Gisele Bündchen ended Tom Brady marriage with brutal 3-words that left NFL star heartbroken trib.al/EkUMOy5
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Jalen Hurts vs. Peyton Manning in their first 93 games. Hurts has more TD, way fewer interceptions and a higher QB rating. #Eagles
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Like I said before, watch who you do business with. We have an investigation going on because fool is dying for attention and a gossip queen smfh
The NFL is “investigating” #Eagles head of security Dom DiSandro regarding comments made by Emmanuel Acho on his podcast in August, per @GunnOnOne. It’s believed these comments were regarding a segment in mid-August in which Emmanuel Acho insinuated a security employee for one of his former teams helped push blame towards the opposing driver in an accident he was in on his way to practice. Acho never specified which security personnel or team but it’s “widely speculated” to be Dom DiSandro. This investigation is ongoing.
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Stafford hasn’t been in the top-5, top-7 conversation in the current league for 90% of his career
"Matthew Stafford gets another one, he has an MVP in his back pocket, he becomes top-five, top-seven of all-time conversation" – Dan Orlovsky
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Bro is the reason I don’t have a superbowl smh.
if this doesn’t jack you up for football season I don’t know what will Tom Brady talking about being a true field general he cared most about audibling to a play that can win, less about the throw can’t wait to see which vet QBs take this step in 2026
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Deshaun. That should be a career ending press conference.
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Rough start for the 0-2 Patriots and head coach Bill Belichick falls to 5-13 as head coach in New England.
Jets vs Patriots (2001) Week 2
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
The downfall of Dov Kleiman, MLFootball and Ari Meirov will be beautiful to witness
Twitter (X) is ending the current creator monetization program and replacing it with a new 'Original Content Rewards Program' All existing creators will have to re-apply starting September 8
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Oh hell yeah. Accounts like dov and ml football are COOKED. Bout time
Twitter (X) is ending the current creator monetization program and replacing it with a new 'Original Content Rewards Program' All existing creators will have to re-apply starting September 8
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
“As Jay Glazer of Fox told me years ago, true journalism in sports involves finding out the stuff they don’t want us to know, not reporting something that’s going to be announced in five minutes. Implicit in finding it out is, after doing so, finding a way to report it.” Seriously, Florio? I have done this kind of investigative work for 14 years and you’ve piggybacked on ALL my reporting— and monetized it. And you learned how this speak-truth-to-power thing works from insider Jay Glazer?! I can’t stop laughing.
The Kyle Shanahan car accident happened on July 14. It was a matter of public record. The 49ers wanted to keep it quiet until training camp opened on July 25. And, instead of reporting publicly-available facts, the reporters who knew about it complied. nbcsports.com/nfl/profootbal…
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