Parody // Notional Counterintelligence and Secularity Center // Satire
USA
Joined September 2025
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IRGC also agrees he's doing a tremendous job, according to RUMINT.
I was at Camp David with President Trump and Secretary Hegseth. This literally never happened, and we told the Washington Post that repeatedly. This B.S. story was shopped to many outlets by someone clearly out to disparage the Secretary, for whatever reason. Unfortunately for them, the President loves the Secretary and thinks he’s doing a tremendous job. FAKE NEWS!
The Intelligence Community has not confirmed a causal connection between the anomalous health incidents (AHI, also known as "Havana Syndrome") plaguing our nation's heroes and their overconsumption of Diet Coke.
We assure PATRIOTIC AMERICANS that our Insider Threat team WILL identify the saboteurs who damaged YOUR Reflecting Pool by driving a motorcade through it.
At this time, we can neither confirm nor deny that @joekent16jan19 is the current front runner to succeed @TulsiGabbard as Director of National Intelligence.
Reports that Deep State environmentalists within the United States of America and Iran are colluding to reduce traffic through the Strait of Hormuz in order to deter global consumption of fossil fuels and to reduce international reliance on plastic goods are categorically untrue.
You are right to be concerned. These videos captured the nocturnal activities of a certain type of Chinese bird. This is a particularly harmful and invasive species, but they've flourished in America due to well-meaning citizens adopting them as pets.
