"Traffic was delayed for a total of 25 minutes, leaving students everywhere annoyed by the buses’ delays."

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"During the game this Saturday, Corps members have promised to expose Citadel students for what they really are: fake ROTC members who don’t actually care about joining the military."

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"Residents with houses in towing areas are advised to pray to God they don’t find you."

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"Eventually, after weeks of brutal emails regretting to inform them that their top choices are not interested, the freshmen will have found their people. Soon, there will be countless Instagram posts, matching shirts and a GroupMe with thousands of notifications daily."

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“'Students give us a dead look every time we ask a question. At least AI responds, even if it is nonsensical,' said Jeanene Jarvis, a professor of marketing."

"According to the minor’s listing on the Undergraduate Catalog, required classes include BUSN 130: Machine Learning and Predictive Modeling for Lyric Writing, BUSN 187: How to Channel Hate for Your Ex into AI Prompts and BUSN 1989: Problematic White Girl Storytelling with AI."

“'We want guys from all different backgrounds,' another officer said. 'Dallas, Houston, Austin, both public and private schools. We have a really diverse group.'"

"Half of going to the gym is telling other people you've been going to the gym. Even better, there's this thing called "bulking," a lifestyle choice you've already been participating in but can now pretend is intentional."

"A tackle sport is a tackle sport. These young ladies have demonstrated an ability to get down to the end zone that I haven’t seen from my boys in ages."

"Texas A&M University is home to many different communities, but perhaps none is quite as interconnected and influential as the Christian bubble."