The Momster Club

Not only is doing laundry invigorating, but my favorite thing in the whole world is turning ALL the clothes right side out, said no mom ever.

I woke with an urgent burning question: Is 5 cent candy still 5 cent candy?

The older I get, the more Canadian I sound.

“Did you want me to save this bottle for bottle-flipping?” is something I say now.

Adulting is getting excited about a new phone case.

5: Mom do wishes come true? Sometimes they do! 5: Oh Noooooooooooooo!! Why? What did you wish? 5: Because I wished I was a tree!

Looking at a picture of Cristiano Ronaldo 5: (with the most adorable lisp) He haths a theven-pack

Husbands everywhere: “I’m going to tighten this jar so tightly that only I can open it”

**Me feeling good about drinking Matcha** 4: That looks like zombie puke

I’m at the age where I save used aluminum foil and wash ziplock bags.

My morning alarm is now either Hulk Hogan or The Rock’s theme song

In typical patriarchal fashion, Father’s Day ads are taking over SM before Mother’s Day has even happened.

For Mother’s Day, I’d like to not be bombarded with with Father’s Day ads.

Dear bacon manufacturers, Why have we yet not evolved the packaging with a ziplock feature?

To all the hockey rink moms out there…we did it!!! Season done!