@MomOnFire
 San Antonio TEXAS
xitter.cf/search?q=from%3A%40momonfire%2Fexclude%3Areplies
Joined February 2011
  • Tweets132K
  • Following1.7K
  • Followers74.9K
1.3KMedia
I deserve every enemy I ever made, but my friends are straight up gifts from God.
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Sometimes I look at cutesy couples “content” on the internet and think about what a great Netflix documentary this will be when one inevitably murders the other.
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Reader, I’d be dead in the water without my friends. It was that kind of weekend. Burnt out and beat up, but STILL ALIVE.
Burning Mom ⚡️
@MomOnFireOct 15
Reader, do I have one last home run left in me? I don’t know this time. Stay tuned.
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Burning Mom ⚡️ retweeted
Annie Hatfield
@AnneHatfieldVO16 May 2017
Pull the last trash bag from the box. Then put the box in the bag. You’ve created a “wormhole,” a plot device favored by science fiction.
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Burning Mom ⚡️ retweeted
Carmella Cannoli@piccolobuttOct 18
Hear me out. Thelma and Louise but instead we rent a small RV and visit every classic dine in Pizza Hut left in the United States.
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Holy shit, she died yesterday.
Burning Mom ⚡️
@MomOnFireFeb 7
Update: I caught her after the show and hugged her. I told her it was great to see her and that I missed her. What I’m realizing these days is that if I don’t tell someone now who they are to me and what they meant, there might not be another chance. So, there you go.
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You’re driving me crazy, WHEN ARE YOU COMIMG HOME?!
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The boss.
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davy crockett be like imma stroll the riverwalk best grab the hat i made out of a 30 pound rat
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davy crockett wore way too much leather fringe for san antonio.
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Burning Mom ⚡️ retweeted
barrel rolls@barrel_rollsOct 15
have you not seen the news? have you been living under a rock!? the singing bird automaton market has been absolutely decimated by kelly clarkson and you’re asking me for rent!?
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Burning Mom ⚡️ retweeted
OL BOO COCKY™@ol_boo_cockyOct 15
One perk of the $20 bidet is you can drop your core temperature very quickly
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Burning Mom ⚡️ retweeted
Horatio Quartzjixler@QuartzjixlerOct 15
Lost all my savings in a pyramid scheme. I guess it's what I get for investing in something called a "scheme."
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Reader, do I have one last home run left in me? I don’t know this time. Stay tuned.
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I never loved mornings until I started spending them with Clyde. ☕️💚
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Burning Mom ⚡️ retweeted
CJ
@youarethejokesOct 13
Anyway, good morning.
CJ
@youarethejokesOct 13
It's too early for this bullshit.
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Burning Mom ⚡️ retweeted
Horatio Quartzjixler@QuartzjixlerOct 13
I saw that your wife and her friends are making dancing TikToks in Home Depot now. I'm really sorry, Bro.
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Good morning, we are “on the mend.” 💚💛
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Burning Mom ⚡️ retweeted
Linda
@turtledumplinOct 12
Me, coming in with my bullshit.
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Reader, have you ever been in a position to find out in real time in a big way exactly who your friends are? WHAT A GIFT. HOUSTON, it’s been real, and it’s been fun, and I want to personally thank you for taking me in. But as the late great Charlie Robinson would say, “Time to pack my bags a little heavy this time, time to head my ass back home.”
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All I can do is hold my head up, pretend I don’t notice the shunning, and thank God for the friends who are willing to publicly know me.
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