Congregant: Rabbi, I have a strong desire to live forever. What should I do? Rabbi: Join Twitter. Congregant: And will I live forever? Rabbi: No, but the desire will disappear.

Perfect nutshell of the west ignoring the spread of Islamism

Dwayne “The Hock” Johnson

Liberté, Égalité, Flambé!

I hope Emily is okay

(ONE WEEK LATER) Snails: Shkoyach, Reb Noach

“Rabbi Alexandri said that Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi said: One who sees a rainbow in a cloud must fall upon his face, and one who bakes a rainbow challah for Noach must post a pic online.” (Berachot 59a)

Noah needed to stock the ark with 2 pandas, 2 polars, and 2 grizzlies. It was the bear minimum.

Jewish American Psycho 😁

AI doesn’t run the world. Hashem runs the world.

Canadian: Let's learn a bible story American: Have you heard of Noah’s ark? Canadian: What's that about? American: Yes. A big one that saved Noah from a flood.

😁

Columbus showed up uninvited, claimed the land, and demanded everyone speak his language. So basically, the first Palestinian.

We should get Kelly Clarkson to review Hamas

🚨BREAKING: IDF releases photo of additional terrorist masquerading as journalist

Thought about this during Torah reading