I asked my 3YO how many people it takes to change a lightbulb: Lights don't wear clothes, Daddy! Again, solid logic. #dadlife

Parents: Is your child 'playing up'? Do you have to cope with troublesome water leaks and embarrassing breakdowns? According to the Consumer Rights Act 2015 you may be entitled to a refund! Take your receipt to your local delivery centre to find out if you can claim! #dadlife

4: Daddy, why do you go to work all the time? Me: To earn money. I get paid to look after lots of people. 4: Oh. I think...I'll get paid to play with lots of toys. #lifegoals

My 4YO has been talking about "The Boobieman" this evening. I hope she's just misquoting. If not, I've got some enquiries to make. #dadlife

4YO walks in with a large wrapped present: Happy Birthday, Daddy! It's a coat. I don't think we've quite mastered the art of gift giving just yet. #dadlife

Practising word sounds with my 4YO: Me: What does "stutter" begin with? 4: St-St-St-Stutter! She can't understand why it's so funny. #dadlife

There are some things as a parent you simply never expect to see. Like walking in to find your 4YO making the bed rather than jumping on it. #dadlife

Parenting treat number 136: Hearing your baby make a noise, then watch them look around surprised as if it was someone else. #dadlife

3YO spotting scary Halloween decorations as we drove past in the car: Ahh! A pumpkin! Ahh! A skeleton! ARGH! Number 6! #dadlife

3: When Mummy comes home from work, we can do something fun and then we can go to bed! Life goals. #dadlife

How you make a baby according my 3YO: You eat lots and your tummy gets big and you eat more and more until the baby comes. Easy. #dadlife

When does Santa come? 3: At Christmas! When does Easter Bunny come? 3: At Easter! When does the Sandman come? 3: When there's no sand.

Asked my 3YO what her aunt looks like. 3: She's got a necklace and a cat bed and she wears some clothes. Mystery solved! #dadlife

Bought an ice cube tray today but didn't read the usage instructions. Luckily it says 'Freezer Safe'. Think I dodged a bullet there.

Sometimes in life there is no right answer, you just have to pick a side. Like when 3YO mards because I won't buy her more fruit? #dadlife

Wife: Should we take her for an eye test? *3YO spots toy through two parked cars, sixteen people & a brick wall* Me: She's fine. #dadlife

Walking under a low bridge. 3: Oh! It makes gecko noises! Me: What noise does a gecko make? 3: Gecko! Gecko! She meant echo. #dadlife

My 3YO was telling me how one of her friends isn't nice to another. Me: Well that's no good is it? 3: No, that's bad behaviour! #dadlife

It's amazing what kids pick up. My 3YO was telling me her favourite superhero is Ironman...though she's never actually seen him. #dadlife

Lying is an important part of a child's development and helps with social interaction later on. Lying down helps me do the same. #dadlife

One of the best things about being a Dad: Telling your child old jokes for the first time. They think you're spinning comedy gold! #dadlife