. retweeted
You can always tell when someone grew up with intense fear based parenting. They always think they're in trouble. They apologize for things they don't need to apologize for. And they over-explain things so intensely you can feel their anxiety.
. retweeted
I think I owe myself an apology for being in spaces where I knew l wasn't wanted & appreciated but instead I stayed, for forcing broken connections & ships. I owe myself an apology for putting people who never appreciated me before myself, doubting myself
. retweeted
Maybe the person everyone is waiting for to save the day is the person you need to become.
. retweeted
May you attract the people with emotional intelligence who know how to manage their emotions, resolve conflicts, and communicate their feelings and situations clearly instead of blaming you, ghosting you, judging you, giving you the silent treatment, or being passive-aggressive.
. retweeted
Emotional intelligence is sexy. Communication is sexy. Boundaries are sexy. Having difficult conversations without being defensive is sexy. Apologizing and changing your behavior is sexy. Listening to understand without judging is sexy. Holding space for someone you love is sexy.
. retweeted
One of the greatest habits to adopt is always talking up your friends around others. Just consistently pay a bit of tasteful homage in every casual conversation you find yourself in. Build a portfolio of mental real estate in the minds of everyone on behalf of the people you love
. retweeted
The harder you try to not look weak, the weaker you actually become. This was one of my greatest faults for most of my life
Somewhere along the way, I unconsciously started to interpret vulnerability as "bad." Most likely conditioned beliefs about what it means to be "masculine"
I could be on the edge of burnout, but still somehow feel that being honest about this was something to be ashamed of
All this does is build up unjustified resentment. You think keeping it all inside makes it so that you're not victimizing yourself. But in reality you are, because a true victim carries expectations
I'm staying up so late. They should notice that I look more tired. They're supposed to just understand that I want support without me asking
Expectations get unmet for too long, then you start resenting them for it. That's when the passive aggressiveness comes out. Inevitably, they start to wonder what the hell is wrong with you and why you're acting like that
They think you're being a bitch. You think, "See? I knew they'd think I was weak!" But the whole time, it was your own fault. You could've just shared what you're feeling and given them an opportunity to show care. They would've seen your transparency as admirable
But for some reason, you fear it. Something inside of you can't accept that maybe they actually want to help you. It's not that they don't, it's that they have no idea because you were saying "I'm good" this entire time
Insecurity. Narcissism. Call it what you want. "I'm responsible for putting everything on my back." Said who? Surely not them
At the end of the day, you just have to be real. This is completely different from complaining. Don't force people to guess. Surrender the seriousness you carry and make life lighter on yourself and everyone around you
. retweeted
Someone keeping the peace even when there is manipulation and dysfunction, is dissociated.
And conflict avoidant.
Why It's Not Peaceful To Ignore Issues:
. retweeted
The best revenge is healing so you're no longer attracted to situations that require revenge.
. retweeted
HOW TO REGULATE YOUR EMOTIONS:
1. Name it in the body: name what you're feeling in your body. This will be easier than describing what you feel.
Ex: I feel heat in my chest, I feel a pit in my belly, I feel my throat tightening up.
. retweeted
The ability to emotionally regulate is one of life's most important skills.
People who can self regulate:
- have higher self worth
- better ability to cope with stress
- healthier relationships
- less impulsivity
- more empathy for others
. retweeted
Boy math is never raising the minimum wage but still expecting Americans to keep up with the cost of living.
. retweeted
Reminder: you don’t need to forgive an abuser. You don’t need to be the bigger person. Anger is a healthy response to abuse.
. retweeted
Self sabotage is protection.
Uncertainty feels terrifying.
We sabotage because we know what the outcome will be— even when it’s not good.
There’s comfort in our known familiar.