Misnomer (@Misnomer) header
Misnomer (@Misnomer) profile picture

Humorist. Satirist. Provocateur. Writer of bon mots.

The Boulevard
Joined January 2011
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.@ATT is laughably terrible.
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Metallica at Sphere didn’t seem worth it when they went on sale, and they still don’t seem worth it now that I have an opportunity to buy one for next weekend. Just can’t pull the trigger.
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Oh man, I just had the greatest “You can’t park there!” opportunity, and I wussed out. That’s gonna bug me all day.
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Oh man, that Kalshi commercial reuniting Danny McBride and Deep Roy gave me all the feels. #KFP
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The jury found he didn’t have a leg to stand on. 🦩
A man was found guilty of animal cruelty after grabbing a flamingo from Las Vegas famed hotel, local small business owners say they are struggling due to tariffs, reduced tourism and more in today's Sun Daily
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Setting the O/U on this place at 30 months.
Hold onto your trucker hats. Luke Combs’ Category 10 has blown into the Flamingo. The three-story entertainment destination has wiped out memories of Margaritaville, which was wastin’ away in that space when it closed in 2024. STORY: neon.lvrj.com/post/3344512
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Story time: Roundabout 2005 or so, Van Halen played Vegas. To advertise the show, they hung a gigantic banner like this on Barbary Coast. It covered the whole side of the building. 🧵
Sunset Strip, February 2012. A gigantic Van Halen banner covered the side of the legendary Riot House hotel in West Hollywood. And now, it's great to see 'A Different Kind of Truth' finally BACK IN PRINT! The long-awaited vinyl and CD reissues arrive this Friday, Oct. 23rd!
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The seller emailed me. “Look, you won, fair & square. I’ll send it if you want. It covers three football fields, and it weighs 400 lbs.” I thought better of it, and he refunded my $50.
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I have always wondered what became of that banner. Short of covering houses after a hurricane, I can’t imagine a practical use.
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Is MGM Grand Garden arena small enough that it doesn’t matter too much where you sit?
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This is art. Chick cruises around Bellagio in a tube top, mispronouncing things & reading outdated wiki facts off her phone. It’s got that “such as” pageant vibe. 10/10 no notes. I Spent $$$ On The BELLAGIO Las Vegas... Full Tour & TRUTH youtu.be/IGz13vspbN4?is=4Rcl… via @YouTube
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She was so close. She even mentioned it, before getting sidetracked on a “corporate greed” rant. Vegas got expensive when people stopped gambling. We had a deal: We gamble, they comp. We broke our end of the bargain.
VEGAS WANTS TO KNOW WHERE EVERYBODY WENT. I HAVE THE RECEIPT FROM MY LAST BUFFET. Downtown Las Vegas is looking a little lonely. The numbers back it up. Visitation was down 4.3% in August. Passengers through Harry Reid down 9%. Downtown gaming win down 3%. They're cutting room rates and the rooms still aren't filling. And somewhere in a corporate office on the Strip, a man in a $4,000 suit is asking how this could possibly happen. Sir. Let me help. Vegas used to be the deal. Sinatra, Dean and Sammy at the Sands. A 99-cent shrimp cocktail downtown at the Golden Gate. Cheap rooms, cheap buffets, loose slots, free drinks if you sat down at a table. They knew you'd lose money at the tables, so they made everything else feel like a steal. That was the whole business model. And it worked for fifty years. Then the MBAs showed up. (I'm allowed to say that. I have one.) Room rates went up. Then they added a resort fee. Fifty bucks a night for a pool you won't use and Wi-Fi that drops every time you open your laptop. Parking that used to be free? Now it's not. Blackjack used to pay 3:2. Now a lot of tables pay 6:5, which is a polite way of saying they shaved your winnings and hoped you wouldn't do the math. And the buffet. The buffet used to be the cheapest meal in America. Now the fancy ones on the Strip run close to $90 a person on a weekend, and the crab legs still taste like the freezer. Who thought that money train would run forever? You squeezed the golden goose until it filed for divorce. Vegas casino bosses have pulled off something I didn't think was possible. They made McDonald's leadership look like value heroes. At least the Big Mac doesn't come with a resort fee. I still end up in Vegas once a year for work. I didn't say I like it. I hate the room rates. I don't eat on the Strip. Get in an Uber, go to Spring Mountain Road, and eat your way through Chinatown. Some of the best Asian food in the country is sitting in strip malls a mile from the casinos, at a third of the price. The locals know. Now you do too. And the desert is still a desert. It's hot, it's dry, my hair hates it, and the whole place still looks like a showgirl's jewelry box exploded. There's exactly one thing on the Strip I'd fight you for. The Peppermill. Neon, mirrors, velvet booths, plates the size of hubcaps and a drink so big it needs two straws and a designated driver. I go every single year. I order too much, I share it with my coworkers or my customers, and we pass that giant drink around like it's 1978. That's my Vegas. You can keep the rest of it. 🦋
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Today, I discovered the website for Din Tai Fung is dtf.com. Now, you’ve got a real dilemma on your hands. You know you wanna try it, but you don’t necessarily want that in your browser history.
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Shameless plug.
A LOT OF MISERABLE PEOPLE COMPLAIN PEOPLE CANT SEE THE FOUNTAINS OF BELLAGIO BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER F1. BUT IF YOU HAD HALF A BRAIN CELL, AND JUST AN OUNCE OF EXPERIENCE - YOU KNOW THIS IS THE PROPER ANGLE TO ENJOY THE FOUNTAINS NO MATTER HOW MUCH CONSTRUCTION THEY DO ON THE BLVD. @BELLAGIO AFTER DARK WELCOME TO THE REAL LAS VEGAS 😈
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I’m trying to imagine the series of events that would have to unfold to find myself both a) in NYNY and b) craving a hotdog.
If you're at NYNY Las Vegas and for some reason craving a hot dog.... Which are you choosing? Time Square, or Nathans?
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Fantasy baseball league championship celebration incoming. 🏆
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Fun game, I’ll play! 1. Pizza Rock. Unremarkable in every way. 2. Sadelle’s. Less good than the Cafe Bellagio it replaced. 3. STK. Must have a 99-year lease or something. Waaaaay beyond its expiration date.
1. Steak at Peter Lugers. If you have to spoon butter over my steak it's missing something. 2. Short Rib Benedict at Henry. Too rich for me. The hollandaise takes over. 3. Ramsay's Fish & Chips. Maybe got a bad batch, but they did nothing for me.
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Pause to consider how George Lucas would have CGI’d in live action De Niro, Greedo, and a Dewback on the DVD edition.
Watching Casino and pausing to admire how De Niro turns into a terrible mannequin right as his car explodes. Always breaks me up.
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Sometimes on the weekends I’ll set an alarm for 11:00 a.m. just in case I sleep in, but then I get up at like 9:00 anyway. Then at 11:00, when my alarm goes off, with all the scorn and ridicule she can muster, my wife says, “What’s that? Your alarm to get up at 11:00???!!?!?”
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