Rest your head weary traveler. You've come to the right place. Milan's twitter.

People who choose the music for cute dog videos have really bad taste. I could do so much better.

I love slack because that’s where all my friends are

*quitting a job You have seen only a tenth of my power…

Love is deaf, dumb, and blind: contestants must choose their life partner based off SMELL 👃 & FEEL ✋

Anyone getting "jiggy" tonight?

Does anyone wanna go see Jet with me? I'll drive.

Peanut butter jars should be wide, not deep.

It must be my lucky day. UPS is hiring

Watched paddington 2 last night. Pretty good.

I'm not California Sober. I'm an alcoholic who smokes weed sometimes.

I will be OFF my phone today. (But if you need to reach me, I will be active on all platforms via ipad & desktop computer) Sent from my leapfrog pro

This used to be a science account

It’s time for us all to admit that Dip n Dots is not the ice cream of the future.

My old boss just payed his wife $19.50 on Venmo for “din din”

Me protecting my takeout from getting wet in the rain

Having deep, meaningful conversations with Slackbot

F*** the rizzler. I miss Terrio.