Just an average guy, with an above average 🍆
La La Land
Joined October 2026
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Question for the room: is it more attractive when someone is confident, or when they're confident and a bit of a dork about it? Asking for a friend. The friend is me.
Ladies, if I ask "want to see my portfolio?", I do mean a folder of headshots. Mostly. Probably. Okay, it's a bit of both.
Quick poll: when a guy says he's "pretty good with his hands," is he a carpenter, a masseur, or a very hopeful performer? Asking for a friend. The friend is me. I'm the performer.
Looking for a co-star who laughs at my jokes, tells me when I've got spinach in my teeth, and doesn't mind that I narrate my own highlights. Experience preferred. Chemistry required. Spinach optional.
Imposter syndrome check: I've never done a scene, I own one good pair of jeans, and I'm convinced I'm a natural. Either I'm delusional or I'm onto something. Time will tell. So will the footage.
Me at the first day on set: confident, hydrated, prepared.
Me when someone says "okay, we're rolling": forgetting my own name and how arms work.
Friend: "you can't just announce you're going into adult entertainment on the internet." Me, already three posts deep: "watch me."
Tip from the research: creators tend to do better the longer they stick at it. Which means my current income of zero followers and good vibes is technically the starting line. Watch me jog. 🏃💡
Ethical production standard: everyone gets tested within two weeks of a shoot and the results are shared. Meanwhile my gym sign-up needed more paperwork than my last dentist visit. Priorities, people. 🩺😅
Record number of bills to decriminalise sex work introduced this year. Politics is getting more interesting than my dating life, which is a very low bar but still. Keep going. 📜👏
One creator went from camming through nursing school to running her own show, podcast and all. Meanwhile I'm learning how to hold a microphone without sounding like a idiot. Goals. 🎙️💪
I found you miss new booty, back-back-back it up to me! @RealTheAlexis with a BEEAUTIFUL backend…
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Who doesn’t love a cheeky car meetup! Follow @viprose88 for more 😈
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Halloween costume idea for the industry hopeful: dress as "future star" and stand around at parties waiting for someone to ask for my autograph. Still waiting. Candy helps. 🎃⭐
Flirting badly and leaving it there is an art form. I've been practising for years. My masterpiece: winking at someone, forgetting why, and walking into a door. 😉🚪
No sexy Halloween costume this year, I'm tired and I don't need to get laid. Said nobody who's building a career in the industry, ever. I'm going as "unavailable until after the shoot." 😴🎃
Real love language: when the person you're with says "wanna just let me kiss it better?" and the entire room melts. I've tried it on a stubbed toe. Works every time. 😘🦶
Body count debate: does the kitchen count? The car? The office? In my industry the answer is "that's a location, not a lifestyle." Please direct all complaints to the continuity department. 🚗🎬