𝕄𝕒𝕩𝕚𝕞𝕦𝕤 𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕪𝕖𝕟 (@MidBishop) | teapawt

𝕄𝕒𝕩𝕚𝕞𝕦𝕤 𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕪𝕖𝕟@MidBishop1h

So, I crash in like a tractor, and I vroom, vroom, vroom I've got a wall to break through Ain't asking for permission make some room room room

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𝕄𝕒𝕩𝕚𝕞𝕦𝕤 𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕪𝕖𝕟@MidBishop2h

Omg hahaha

“ Have y’all ever realized what “strap on” spells backwards? “ 🤔

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𝕄𝕒𝕩𝕚𝕞𝕦𝕤 𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕪𝕖𝕟@MidBishop2h

Loooooooooool

Interesting things

@awkwardgoogle6h

Husband catches wife looting a store. Immediately snatches everything and returns it. W

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𝕄𝕒𝕩𝕚𝕞𝕦𝕤 𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕪𝕖𝕟@MidBishop4h

The instrumental arrangements to Phil Collins “I wish it would rain down” are so simple yet 🤌🏾🤌🏾

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𝕄𝕒𝕩𝕚𝕞𝕦𝕤 𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕪𝕖𝕟 retweeted

Olly ☕@OllyVanGaal11h

From this tweet forward, life changed for the worse

@tomhfh10 Dec 2019

If Boris wins, the 20s are going to be so roaring. 🇬🇧🎉🍾

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Nicolas-Tyrell Scott

The aunties (of multiple races) about to be FINED baby omg 💀💀💀

🚨 NEW: The Government has announced headphone dodgers on trains will face fines of up to £1,000 as a nationwide campaign launches today

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My mattress arriving a week before my new bed frame is going to be my villain origin story for the week (good thing I’ve not dismantled the old one yet) cause 💆🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️

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𝕄𝕒𝕩𝕚𝕞𝕦𝕤 𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕪𝕖𝕟 retweeted

.@Omgemeraldddd9h

There are people out there who don’t even know what Teams is. They’ve never used Outlook and have never had to log in 47 times a day through Microsoft Authenticator. They’re living the best life imaginable

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ico@yonceremover19h

mariah deadass top 20 songwriters of all time but yall ain't ready for that convo

ico@yonceremover20h

this lullaby (⌒▽⌒)

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@sspencerukkOct 18

The biggest cultural difference I’ve seen with these French riots is that they loot Louis & Goyard and we loot lush and Greggs

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𝑌𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒♡︎

@_Tessy_05Oct 18

“What’s up” means “why are you texting me”, not “how are you”

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@empiremike_14h

"people really hate when you don’t fit the narrative they’ve created about you in their heads" Confucius

@_iamhabeebOct 18

people really hate when you don’t fit the narrative they’ve created about you in their heads

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𝕄𝕒𝕩𝕚𝕞𝕦𝕤 𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕪𝕖𝕟@MidBishop7h

I am HOWLING

Nina Wysocka 👻🎃

@realninawysockaOct 18

No way 🤣

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Kat@ollkorrect0Oct 17

Friend just said to me, "I don't think you're on the spectrum but you definitely appreciate the culture"

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Holding a baguette like a lethal weapon in the middle of a riot is the most French thing to ever happen

海外の万国反応記

@all_nations2Oct 18

パリの暴動の写真の中にバゲット持ってる奴いて大笑いした

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@omgsidewalksOct 18

At this point, the least realistic thing about the Hunger Games is the high speed rail travel.

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Thought it was Andy Burnham for a second there

rubyyy🐧@adlerubyOct 17

first year vs last year of college

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𝕄𝕒𝕩𝕚𝕞𝕦𝕤 𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕪𝕖𝕟@MidBishop10h

Today is Evaluate Your Life Day.

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smz ꕤ@ordinarythingzzOct 18

she really MADE it.

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Jay Jurden@JayJurden21h

Most anal sex is planned

evil clean🫧@itscleangoddyOct 18

Planned sex is so weird sometimes 😭😭

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