Hey I’m walkin here!

I constantly feel like I’m going to throw up. And it isn’t because I’m physically ill, it’s because of the inevitable shitshow that will happen next week.

I’ve seen a lot of idiotic bumper stickers, but “JOE BIDEN OWES ME GAS MONEY” is definitely a contender for number one

Is this election year over yet?

Eat a thousand bags of dicks, Donald Trump.

A stupid ex boyfriend of mine defended Trump by saying “I don’t care about personalities, I care about my wallet.” Spoken like a true Trumper. I’d rather eat macaroni and cheese and take the bus to work than ever have to deal with that sociopath in office again.

I know a lot of women struggle with losing weight, and I don’t judge them for that. Please don’t misunderstand me. It’s not any easier on the other side of the fence. I’m 5’1 and 94 pounds. I don’t have an eating disorder, I just literally have no appetite due to stress.

I’m going to throw up. I wake up every day feeling like throwing up. Unfortunately that feeling probably isn’t going to stop until Donald Trump is dead.

Just another reason to love Tom Hanks.

I definitely understand why some women decide to be lesbians. Most men are assholes.

I have officially become an old person. I lost my glasses and can’t see enough to find them. 😂

There is absolutely nothing worse than an election year. I hate everything.

Today is a new day.

What’s worse than a presidential election year?

I hate everything.

Stop saying “phased” when you mean “fazed.” I’m not talking about random asshats on the internet. I’m talking about real people with real journalism jobs who don’t know how to use words correctly.

Remember when people had private thoughts and didn’t feel the immediate need to blast them all over the internet? That was pretty cool.

I don’t know how I’ll make it, but watch how good I’ll fake it.

Goddamn mother fucker. I’m moving to Florida.

I upped my membership to @robandjoeshow. Now up yours! Help these guys out. They’re hard working and hilarious.