SnortsMcSlurps

You better update your wishlist, this is a threat of unknown variables.

My work has a heater in the bathroom. Its the warmest room in the building, I like to walk in and take toasty toots. No on suspects a thing. Some would call it a perfect crime

Only a few people can get away with confessing “I love your wife”, I think I’m one of them

What happens when your Fursona is the Michelin man?

Just got a date with a woman, while being married to a man. This is peak American behavior🫡

You ever have a memory, and you aren’t sure if it was your childhood or a fever dream?

I made it all by myself! I deserve a treat

I wonder if hardware companies are told if their products are used by serial killers.

If I become an amputee, I want my stump to be cute. It’s like hoping your head is nice and smooth incase you go bald.

Someday I wanna donate my kidney to someone. Not because it’s a good deed. So then I can say I’ve been in someone.