If I become too ill, the succession of power in Memphis goes as follows: 1. Herenton 2. Wharton 3. Dave Brown 4. Penny 5. Bo Jackson 6. Koko B. Ware and Frankie 7. Katrina Coleman 8. John Daly 9. MLGW 10. @EParkwayMcDs management staff

Today at City Hall, I will be revealing new images I took last night with my Radio Shack telescope.

I changed my mind. Instead I want to buy up all remaining Old Country Buffet’s.

I will be announcing my full intentions on buying MySpace tomorrow.

I’m filing a class action lawsuit against all local meteorologists. The money from this lawsuit will cover all we lost due to their weather machines.

I transferred money out of our educational department and upgraded the salt we put on our roads tonight to a fancy Mediterranean Sea salt.

Today, I am extending the pause on State Tech student loan repayments for an additional 90 days — through May 1, 2022.

I have given full approval for a booster lap dance to be administered following a 2 for 1.

But the bikini baby oil wrestling matches at @PlatinumPlusTN are still on!

The FDA has approved my request to replace all hand lotion in the VIP rooms at @PlatinumPlusTN with hand sanitizer.

Effective immediately, I am mandating nipple pasties for all dancers at @PlatinumPlusTN.

Big congrats to Destiny for bringing home the gold last night at @PlatinumPlusTN and setting a new world record in the ping pong ball launching competition.