Matt Sumf (@MattSumf) | teapawt

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfJun 27

Lyft driver thinks he’s gonna get a cancellation fee out of me, I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfOct 16

Insane work on the 16th #expand

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfOct 12

Good eyes pops

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfOct 12

Buddy is not having it today

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfOct 12

Jahmyr Gibbs

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfOct 9

There’s no way his mother named him Cornbread

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfOct 8

I feel like this place is missing a couple of migrants

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfOct 6

Just saw this fake greaser walk out of a store with a leather jacket and motorcycle helmet, then get in a car and drive off.

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfOct 3

Canes are so boring she’s watching lawn mowing videos

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfOct 2

Chic fil a drive thru at lunch, that persons as good as dead

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfSep 30

Dude has opps on isle 4

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfSep 30

Rape me

lina@444liinaSep 29

i wear my felony like a badge of honor

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfSep 28

I wonder if they want to knock my towers over

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfSep 26

I love this lake

Matt Sumf@MattSumfSep 21

Going to the lake this weekend

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfSep 26

Friday night shots

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfSep 25

Stealth #rackattack

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfSep 25

Most white men are one frontier flight away from becoming far right activists

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfSep 24

@xixikawaiiSep 24

我以前把怀孕的蟑螂放进逼里，使劲一夹给夹爆，然后一堆小蟑螂就从逼里钻出来，有一种当妈妈的感觉。我一般用风油精，往里面灌点，蟑螂什么的就出来了，完事拿酒精擦擦消个毒。没事的，毕竟都定期来姨妈的，脏东西都排过去了。摸完风油精的逼逼塞进来刚开始凉凉的，后来火辣辣的，冰火两重天操起来很刺激，用过的都说好。我好想纹身在阴唇褶皱里，翻出来当社会人，翻进去考公。顺便给阴唇做个美容，把边边割下来做麻辣扇贝边，然后高价卖给公狗。

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfSep 23

Asked my friend why his floorboard is covered in trash and he somehow made it about Israel

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfSep 22

Lena Dunham can’t understand what it’s like to be under 200 lbs

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Matt Sumf@MattSumfSep 21

Going to the lake this weekend

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