@MasterFoilesi
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All hat and no cattle. Dad. W&M Tribe '09. Gamecock '14. Hokie.
Blacksburg, VA
Joined August 2012
- Tweets3.9K
- Following1.1K
- Followers288
- Likes73K
Andrew Foiles, probably retweeted
starting a band called “beach boys 2” and writing songs like “gooder vibrations” and “wouldn’t it be even nicer”
Andrew Foiles, probably retweeted
I have a biological clock but it tells me when it’s time to watch Lord of the Rings again
Andrew Foiles, probably retweeted
Eye of newt in 13 Covens has been recalled over undeclared magical effects
Andrew Foiles, probably retweeted
JD Vance still hasn’t said shit about Dolly. Fake ass Appalachian working class Peter Theil bitch boy baby
Andrew Foiles, probably retweeted
Just shut down the whole karaoke bar with my version of the Skyrizi song. People with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis were coming up to me with tears in their eyes wanting to shake my hand. The bartender added me on insta and let me hit her Skyrizi pen.
Andrew Foiles, probably retweeted
Got the COVID vax and 5 years later—BOOM! Starter goes out in my Camry
Andrew Foiles, probably retweeted
Former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem attends bronze statue unveiling honoring her governorship of South Dakota.
Andrew Foiles, probably retweeted
I was so obsessed with this show as a child that my father would threaten to go to Tokyo and burn down the iron chef studio if I didn't behave
Andrew Foiles, probably retweeted
Last night I took my daughter for a walk so she could say goodnight to the neighborhood stray cats, and that one thirty minute period of my life was more meaningful and valuable than every minute of Kevin O'Leary's life put together
Kevin O’Leary says he wept when Rolex gave him a watch even its own staff had never seen.
“Grown men weep just looking at pictures of this mystical beast. Does it exist? I got on my knees and begged for it.”
“The morning before the Oscars, the phone rings. They gave me an address and said, ‘Be there.’ And there it was.”
“The entire Rolex staff had never seen it. All the dealers from around LA came to see it.”
“For an hour we looked at it. We didn’t touch it. We just looked at it and said, ‘It’s real.’”
“I did, and I wore it. I was weeping. It was mine. I own it. Do you know how many people have that piece? Maybe nobody.”
Andrew Foiles, probably retweeted
I swore I was done Emeril posting but this is just too good. The man couldn’t miss.
Andrew Foiles, probably retweeted
it’s worth asking the question
Andrew Foiles, probably retweeted
Mitch McConnell has taken more medical leave than most mothers in America get for maternity leave.