@MarzHallWay

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Joined March 2025
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35Media
— あの日の風が今も胸に残っている.
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things getting hard to bare or me being thinner skinned i just want to feel peace.
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thought i was fine.
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barely felt alive for a few days, baca this whole case made me want to keel myself again.
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maybe buy a new digicam will heal me or maybe i simply do not sleep at that hour.
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sometimes the room feels more alive than me. the walls stand tall, the ceiling never doubts itself, even the air doesn’t hesitate. everything is steady. everything belongs. meanwhile i’m lying there like a guest who showed up to the wrong house.
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i keep wishing for weight. something that drags me into the ground and leaves a dent. instead i feel like a draft version of a person, like i forgot to hit “save as final.”
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my body keeps fighting back with cracks, pops, aches, sparks in the dark. they light me up for a second, then it’s gone again. it’s not emptiness that scares me, it’s the thought of being hollow. iont want to feel like a sentence missing its verb, there but not moving anywhere.
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this week is like a fist i never saw coming sharp, it almost theatrical in the way it left me winded but so was the strange mercy of discovery: truths i hadn’t touched before revealed themselves in the quiet aftermath.
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with no warning, the walls leaned closer, warmer, gentler. perhaps this is what it means to be seen not as a fixture, but as someone worth tending to. perhaps this is what it feels like to be held in the simple, without asking.
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i laid bare my most grievous wound, only for it to be scourged with lime, as though my pain were a spectacle rather than a plea for mercy. whats new.
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but.. you survive. you learn that you can survive being alone.
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what the fuck is going on with august.
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twin peaks postcards by paul willoughby
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