Mostly retweets but v alive in real life

Joined April 2009
oyster influencer retweeted
i bet it feels good as hell to be a fat bear floating down the river
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oyster influencer retweeted
😭😭😭
Jamie Lynn is currently in talks to appear at the 2023 Super Bowl scanning tickets at the north entrance.
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oyster influencer retweeted
“But I say ‘Show me the receipts!’ Cause why would Xi Jenping wanna flood my basement and flood my bowflex? To what end?? 🎶 Tooo what end?!”
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Me after one and a half drinks completely unprompted:
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oyster influencer retweeted
one day you’re a hot, fun 20-something and before you know it you’re a hot, fun 30-something with an interest in birds
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Supporting the Colombian economy
Jack Nicholson, Carrie Fisher & Rick James sometime in the 80’s
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oyster influencer retweeted
Mary Magdalene’s besties in the group chat:
that emotionally unavailable 33 year old man will not save you
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oyster influencer retweeted
this is how I feel when I click on a story someone posted 20 seconds ago
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oyster influencer retweeted
imagine building generational wealth and you come back and its all gone
Woodpeckers stored 700 lbs of acorns 20 feet high inside a house wall. [📹 Emotional-Holiday903] xitter.cf/i/status/1751652909610…
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oyster influencer retweeted
[at my second rodeo] Ah, yes, I understand everything now.
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oyster influencer retweeted
my healing journey is over ❤️ i’m not healed i just got bored
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oyster influencer retweeted
First drink of 2024
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oyster influencer retweeted
You there boy, tell everybody the Gilded Age has be renewed for another season
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oyster influencer retweeted
hot girl saturday
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oyster influencer retweeted
me in the morning trying to process the intense symbolism that appeared in my dreams
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oyster influencer retweeted
8 business models to make you $20,000/month ($0 startup costs):
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oyster influencer retweeted
michelle williams after recording the britney audiobook
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“These edibles ain’t shit!” Me 2 hours later to the CVS cashier:
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No reason for posting this other than it being the most brilliant line reading in all of television
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